I am ashamed of my sins and want to ask u how to repent

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

dear brother

assalamu alaikum


i am ashamed of my sins and want to ask u how to repent...whn i was a yung girl...say 13 to 16 yrs old...i used to take small sums of money from my father...without his knowledge...and thn i realised it was rong...and stopped it altogether


whn i was in coll...i used to ask him more money than wat was actually needed...like if i had to pay rs 1000 as fees...i would ask him for 1200...i dint realise i was doing a mistake thn...as he was giving me the money himself,....but now ive realised what a huge sin ive committed...


i am deeply ashamed of what i had done....and asked allah for forgiveness many many many times...and till now i have not repeated the same sin either...


that day i was thinking...that allah will forgive me only if i replace the money i took from my father...i have no idea how much i took from him...and i dont have much money in my hands either...sometimes i feel i shud go tell my father about wat i did too...but i think it will cause him a lot of pain and it would be best if i dont tell him abt it...


my questions are?...

is it enuff if i ask forgiveness from allah alone? shud i replace the money?...i have no idea as to how much i took from him exactly?... shud i owe up to my father

pls advice

thanking shenaz


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




Stole money from father

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, it is this regret, this shame, this feeling of remorse and guilt which in itself is the manifestation of your sincere repentance of your past deeds, and this precisely is a sign of your sincere faith and your fear of the Lord and His Day of Accounting.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy!  Surely,  Allah forgives all sins.   He indeed is the All Forgiving,  All Merciful.   Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you;  for then you may get no help from anywhere.”


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who,  if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin,  remember Allah instantly,  and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings.  For who,  but Allah,  can forgive sins?   (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did.   These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,  and with Gardens beneath which canals flow,  and they will reside therein forever!   How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs,  say: "Peace be on you!  Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.  Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance,  and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct),  Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving,  Most Merciful."


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith  2357       Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."


Beloved Sister, if you had in your past, taken some extra money from your own father on the pretext of lies, and subsequently you realized your mistake and your sin and sought sincere forgiveness from your Lord for your transgression in ignorance your sincere ‘taubah’ and repentance would suffice and it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.


If you had stolen something from any other than your own parents, indeed it would have been best to own up your error to that person and return the money you had stolen from them.  But since you took some extra money from your own father, who is your guardian….the scholars are of the opinion that there is no need to repay him the extra money you might have taken from him in your ignorance.


If you could build up the courage and own up your mistakes to your father, it would obviously be best; but if for any reason you believe that such a confession would cause your father too much pain or Allah forbid, his health might deteriorate, or his relationship with you might be effected, etc…..provided you have done sincere ‘taubah’ and sought repentance from your Lord Most Gracious, and thereafter amended your conduct….it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.


In our humble opinion sister, if you were to go and tell your father that you took some extra money from him on the pretext of lies in your childhood, and ask him to forgive you your transgressions with him….chances are your father will be very proud of you, and will love you even more than he does now, and will not hold what you had done in your childhood against you in the least.  Such a confession with someone so close as your father will not only be best in the Sight of Allah, but also relieve your own heart of the burden of any guilt which might have remained after your sincere repentance.


But if you still believe that it would be best if you did not tell your father, that too would be acceptable.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,






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