Giving gifts in marriage
Mu' meneen
Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be
upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
A question related to
Marriage... Its become customary in a marriage to
exchange "gifts". And sometimes this gifting leads to complications
as it is construed to be a sign of respect for each other's family. Could you
advise what the Holy Quran says about this issue. I know about Mehr but is there any other occasions where a Girl is supposed to
give things to a Guy or vice versa. Want to know what the original concept is?
Thank you.
Salaam Walaikum
(There may be some
grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not
change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our
readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the
name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray,
none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no
person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4: And give the
women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they of their own good
pleasure remit any part of it to you , take it and enjoy it with right good
cheer.
‘Mehr’ is an obligatory condition in marriage in Islam,
whereby the groom offers a gift to the bride.
Islam encourages the giving and taking of gifts, but these gifts must be
of one’s own free will and choice, and not something which are demanded by the
receiver or custom. The Messenger of
Allah (saws) himself gave and received gifts.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.758 Narrated
by Aisha
The Messenger of Allah (saws) used to accept gifts and used to
give something in return.
Islam has
put the full financial responsibility of the society on the shoulders of men,
and every expense related to the marriage (clothes, gifts, feast, etc.) has to
be borne by the man. The women is not required to spend even a cent towards the
marriage expenses.
Indeed it
is unfortunate that some societies today have made the giving and receiving of
gifts on such occasions a sign of respect for each other’s families; and no
matter how good one’s intentions when giving the gifts, the receiving family
always expects more or better! A gift is
a gift only if one gives and receives it out of good will; a gift forced out of
someone against his will shall be called a ‘bribe’ or ‘extortion’! Such customs are alien to the deen of Islam and the Sunnah of
the Messenger of Allah (saws), and must be rejected by the believers.
Whatever
written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance,
and whatever of error is of me. Allah
Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
