Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i committed a sin. i have had a hispanic girlfriend for 3 years and now she is 5 months pregnant and i got scared and left her. i know in my religion of islam i am responsible for teaching my children islam. but i dont want to marry her or be a father. my pakistani parents are very strict about these kinds of things and want me to leave her. can i leave her and the baby and just ask for forgiveness?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
How ironic and wondrous would it be if one fears for the fulfillment of a minor law when a major law has been transgressed and compromised!!!! To worry about the Islamic education of one’s unlawful child when one has indulged in the abomination of ‘zina’ or illegal sexual intercourse is as devoid of intelligence as one who is sincerely worried about a parking ticket when he has murdered a person!!!!!
Respected brother, keeping a ‘girlfriend’ for three years is a manifest and consistent transgression of the Prescribed Boundaries of the Lord Who Created!! To indulge in ‘zina’ or illegal sexual intercourse with this ‘girlfriend’ out of marriage is an absolute and utter abomination in the Sight of the Lord!!!! Such is the enormity of this crime that Allah Subhanah, the Lord of the Worlds, has prescribed the death penalty for those guilty of ‘zina’ if married, and a hundred lashes in public if unmarried!!!! And that is only the punishment the Lord Most Majestic has prescribed a righteous believing society to extract from those guilty of ‘zina’ in the life of this world……Allah forbid, if one guilty of the abomination of ‘zina’ were to die without seeking sincere repentance for their abomination, their accounting in the Presence of their Lord Most Supreme on that Tumultuous Day of Judgment would be much more severe and much more lasting!!!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
My dear and respected brother in Islam, if you think your parents are strict about ‘these kinds of things’…..I assure you in the Blessed Name of the Lord Most Majestic Who Created…..there is no one who can even begin to imagine the Strictness and the Wrath and the Anger and the Punishments of the Lord Most High on those who openly and consistently transgress His Prescribed Limits and Boundaries!!!!
Respected brother in Islam, whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere ‘Taubah’ and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a repentant believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and so Generous, that if one sincerely repents unto Him, makes a solemn covenant with Him that they will not indulge in the sin ever again, and thereafter amends their conduct…..He not only will forgive the sins of such sincerely repentant believers, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
· One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
· Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
· Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
· Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."
Your Question: ……can i leave her and the baby and just ask for forgiveness?
If the child is born out of wedlock, it will be considered an illegitimate child in the Sight of Shariah Law. That child will be the responsibility of the mother who bore it, it will be recognized by the name of its mother, it will inherit from its mother, and its mother will inherit from it.
The illegitimate father of this child has absolutely no legal responsibility towards this child, nor does the child have any duty or responsibility towards its illegitimate biological father. The child will not be recognized by the name of its illegitimate or biological father, not will it inherit from its biological father, nor will its biological father inherit from it.
If you are indeed sincere in seeking forgiveness, are sincerely ashamed and sorry at your past transgressions, make a solemn covenant with your Lord that you will strive your absolute utmost never to approach His Prescribed Boundaries again, amend your conduct and strive to do righteous good deeds…..it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,