Second marriage of father.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu alikum  I am a son of person.my age is 20 and my dad has married himself to second wife just few months back. can u tel me whether son has d right to question about dis to father..  If not can my mother ask dads 2nd wife to leave my dad?

 

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Answer:

 

Second marriage of father

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

3        If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess.  That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.

 

Allah Subhanah has Himself allowed and permitted a believing man to marry and keep a maximum of four wives at any one time if he wishes to do so, provided he is confident he will be able to deal justly and equitably amongst his wives.

 

If the married person who wish to marry for a second time is absolutely confident that he will be able to do justice amongst his multiple wives, there is absolutely no harm in him exercising his right to choose to marry more than once.  Such a marriage will be absolutely valid, legal and lawful in the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

Your Question: …..can u tel me whether son has d right to question about dis to father..

Respected brother in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the importance and significance of being kind, tender, humble, and the serving and being dutiful to one’s parents in Islam…… Second only to the heinous and the ultimate abomination of ‘shirk’ in the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to be undutiful to one’s parents!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them;  but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14      And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:

36      Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941        Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?"  He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) said:  "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah).  So whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821         Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied: "They are:--

To join others in worship with Allah,

To be undutiful to one's parents,

To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),

And to give a false witness."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290         Narrated by Abu Bakra

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

 

Such is the rank and status the Lord Most High has accorded to parents in Islam that only after the rights due to Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws), the biggest rights in all mankind are due to one’s parents, regardless of whether one’s parents are believers or disbelievers!  Thus it is absolutely obligatory upon the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to be humble, kind, tender, and devoutly obedient to each and every lawful wish and command of their parents.

 

Respected brother, if your father has exercised his option of legally marrying another woman, he is well within his rights to do so.  You as the son do not have a ‘right’ to question him regarding the matter, or be rude or untoward or rebuke or ridicule him in the least…..but if you so wish to satisfy your heart regarding the reason he might have to chose to marry again, you may approach him in absolute humility and politely enquire from him his reasons or his plans for the future. 

 

Respected brother, you must realize and accept that your father has exercised a lawful option in Shariah, and you have no other option but to accept and honor his decision regardless of how much your heart compels you to challenge his decision….that is if indeed you sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day and understand your position as a son in respect to the rank and position of your father.

 

Your Question: ….If not can my mother ask dads 2nd wife to leave my dad?

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.598         Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her."

 

If the second marriage of your father is so detested and unacceptable to your mother, she is well within her rights in Islam to ask your father to divorce her (ie. your mother), or she has the right to approach a Shariah Court and seek a divorce from your father.  But under absolutely no condition does your mother have a right in Islam to ask, coerce, or pressurize your father to divorce his second wife; or Allah forbid approach the new wife and plead with her to divorce her husband, if indeed she fears Allah and the Last Day.  

 

The Messenger of Allah (saws) explicitly and specifically forbade the believing woman from asking her husband to divorce his other wife/wives so that she may have the husband to herself…..for the fact is that each will have nothing but what the Lord Most Majestic has Decreed and Written for them.

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 

 
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