Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu alaikum dear brother,

 

Firstly I would like to thank and appreciate what you are doing, may Allah bless you for this good deed. My husband has asmall business setup and he has been struggling very hard for the last 5 years to manage & run his business. His field of work requires too much physical activity, which makes him stressed when he is at work and tired when he comes home.To meet our financial requirements, I too am employed. My husband is a good man, he has no bad habits at all. His family lived &grew up in the non muslim areas while growing up, so they are not that very religious. Since I am from a religious background, while I pray five times a day, he barely prays - a khaza fajer namaz, zuhr namaz quite afew times & after my insistence  very rarely isha namaz(he says he is tired after coming from work, so he sleeps most of the time without praying isha). In between his work he very very rarely prays asr & maghrib. Previously we used to have fights about him not praying & I would connect our financial problems to him not praying which would make him more angry.

 

After I started recieving your mails regarding various hadiths, I stopped fighting with him in this regard & occasionally only tell him to pray.(becos rizk is from Allah and I know now that He is testing my patience). But When I read that a muslim should do dawaa' first to his close loved ones and then family and then friends. I don't know how to do this, since he is not very interested in any thing that Iread to him. I am afraid that my feelings of love for him will diminish if he continues to be like this.& if he does't change , am I failing as a muslim in my obligation to Allah to do Dawaah'. There is not a single day that I don't pray & cry in my prayers, asking Allah to change him &make him & my children(who are all small) good muslims. Please enlighten me in this issue. I have heard that if a wife does not pray, a husband has a right to not share her bed, if this does apply to wives as well, I do not want to practise this because I still love him.

Eagerly waiting for you answer, your sister  

 

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Answer:

 

Husband does not pray

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose (practice of) religion and character you are satisfied with asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

 

Respected sister in Islam, the time to thoroughly satisfy oneself with the character and the practice of religion of one’s husband is before one agrees to marry such a person, not after one has married him!  If you or your guardians did not take the required striving to investigate or had prior knowledge of your husband’s negligence in his practice of the ‘deen’, and you still chose to marry the person ….then obviously you have chosen to put yourself in a trial with your own hands and you have no one to blame but yourself.

 

Respected Sister, if you believe that your husband fears Allah and the Last Day in some corner of his heart, but for whatever reason is negligent in fulfilling even his obligatory duties unto his Lord Creator….and you have hope that in due time he would one day turn back to his Lord Creator in repentance and amend his conduct….then it would only be prudent that you strive your absolute utmost, with extreme patience and wisdom, at every given opportunity to instill the fear of Allah Subahnah into him…..and thus save your marriage.

 

But if after your best striving there is absolutely no change in the conduct of your husband, or you have totally lost hope that he will ever turn to his Lord in ‘taubah’ and amend his conduct, or you find that his non-practice of the religion puts your own belief and your own practice of religion on trial ….you are obviously well within your rights, as an absolute last option, to initiate a separation from him through the institution of divorce.

 

But as long as you have hope of that your husband might one day turn unto his Lord Most Merciful in ‘taubah’ and amend his conduct, and as long as you choose to remain united with him in the sacred bond of marriage…..you as a woman who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day must make sure that you fulfill all the rights of your husband in full. If you have done the necessary striving in reminding him to fear his Lord and amend his conduct, rest assured that he alone will be responsible for his deeds in the Presence of his Majestic Lord on that Tumultuous Day of Judgment.

 

Your Question: …..I have heard that if a wife does not pray, a husband has a right to not share her bed, if this does apply to wives as well

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284         Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread.’

 

Respected sister, as long as you chose to remain united with your husband in the sacred bond of marriage, absolutely regardless of his deeds or misdeeds, it would not be lawful or permissible for a wife who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day to ever refuse the invitation of her husband to share his bed. 

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan