Family have been going through many problem, mother and father have been arguing, on top of that relatives who i do not like for example my uncle a wife beater a child beater are always invited here by my father even though he knows this.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam-Alaikum
 
I have some serious problems please provide advice in the light of islam.

 
Family have been going through many problem, mother and father have been arguing, on top of that relatives who i do not like for example my uncle a wife beater a child beater are always invited here by my father even though he knows this.

 
I have asked a million times to please do not allow him in this house but my repeated requests have gone unheard.

 
Now i am being forced to choose either some happiness for me and my wife to be by moving somewhere else or staying with my mother and standing all of this.

 
I dont want to leave but i dont see any other way out of this. Every time i pray for some happiness for my family i receive more and more sorrows and this has slowly began to affect my faith in islam. im starting to see life as a poison rather than a gift.

 
Today things got out of hand when my parents were talking to and asking for advice from my uncle about their marriage when my uncle himself is a wife and child beater. I could not take this anymore with him sitting there acting all inocent and trying to help i lost control and started to abuse him verbally. I do not care what happens but i will not allow him in this house again.

 
I have thought many times to pack my bags and leave without a word. According to islam and the quran what should i do?

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Break relations

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the importance and significance of serving and being dutiful to one’s parents in Islam…… Second only to the heinous and the ultimate abomination of ‘shirk’ in the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to be undutiful to one’s parents!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them;  but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14      And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:

36      Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941        Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?"  He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120  Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah

I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom should I show kindness most?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother.’  I asked (again): ‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.  I asked: ‘Who next?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’  I asked again: ‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939        Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah

Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said, "Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I have come to consult you.  He (saws) asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) said:  "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah).  So whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821         Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied: "They are:--

To join others in worship with Allah,

To be undutiful to one's parents,

To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),

And to give a false witness."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290         Narrated by Abu Bakra

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

 

Respected brother, regardless of whatever transpires in the family, you have absolutely no right to say even ‘uff’ to your father, leave alone rebuke, or talk harshly with him, or (Allah forbid) ‘command’ him to break or sever relations with his brother (your own uncle!)!!!!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad  verse 25:

As for those who break their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on the earth,  their’s shall be the curse, and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:

And He leads astray only those who disobey Allah,  who break Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the Earth.   These are indeed the people who are the losers.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin).

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.15 Narrated by Anas bin Malik

Allah 's Messenger (saws) said, "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged, then he should keep good relations with his kith and kin."

 

Regardless of the behavior of one’s blood-relatives, it is absolutely impermissible, forbidden, and an abomination of a sin in the Sight of Allah for one to break or sever ties or relationships of blood which the Lord Himself has created for them!

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.20 Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr

The Prophet (saws) said, "’Al-Wasil’ (the one who does good to his relatives) is not he who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but ‘Al-Wasil’ is he who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him."

 

Respected brother in Islam, we remind you as we remind ourselves, if you are satisfied that Allah Subhanah, the Lord of the Worlds, should (I seek refuge in Allah from even saying this!) sever relations with you….then go ahead and do as you please!  But if the pain and anguish of Allah Subhanah severing relations with you is greater than the pain of restoring bond of relationship with your kith and kin, then fear Allah, turn to Him in sincere repentance, and strive your absolute utmost to restore your bond of relationship with your kith and kin.

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 

 

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