I had an affair with a girl and we want to get married to but somewher in my heart i was not ready at that time i love her today also and i care for her in this 4 year of period we commited sin also i mean we perform oral sex which we not suppose to do in ISLAM.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

ASALLAMWALLEKUM,

First of all let me thankyou brother for removing my misconception of clipping nails at any time as it is not prohibbited in ISLAM.

Brother Burhan i comited a sin gunah-e- kabira i will say i had hurt an human feeling let me very clear to you brother.

I had an affair with a girl and we want to get married to but somewher in my heart i was not ready at that time i love her today also and i care for her in this 4 year of period we commited sin also i mean we perform oral sex which we not suppose to do in ISLAM. I had sent the marriage proposol to her my mother talked to her mother also that my son wanted to get marry to your daughter and my girlfriend said to me that i should hide my education because i am 10 std passed and she is MBA and compare to her we are not that rich and educated family so i thought if i will let her mother know that i am 10th std passed her mother will never agreed on our marriage and her mother was not ready to accept me as son in law so in this i played a dirty game actually i did this because of another girl who is more beautiful than her and she wanted to get marry to me and i also wanted to marry her so i betray my love my girl friend and i got engaged to this beautiful girl and i dint let my old girlfriend to know about my engagement and than i realized that i loveher very much and i cant live withouth her my old girl friend but i am i basterd i will say i had intenally hurt her feeling her heart after my engagement again i went to her house for asking her hand i was already engaged than to i went because somewhere in my heart i was having this feeling that i commited a sin and ALLAH will never forgive me for my sin i said sorry 10 times to my old girlfriend that plz forgive me as i was not honest to you but she think becuse of my mother our relation did not work actually i am the main culprit Idont know what to do if i marry my old girl friend than my fiance life will misserable because she love me very much and i cant tell truth to my old girl friend also i dont have that much of courage to say the truth and brother i feel ashamed of myself i dont know what to do i had asked for her forgiveness but ALLAH will never forgive me if my old girlfriend will not forgive me and my old girlfriend parent is also not ready .

brother u tell me what am i suppose to do i need your mobile or telephone no i wanted to talk to you regarding this matter or plz mail me as soon as u can .

MAY ALLAH FORGIVE MY SIN AAMIN BROTHER PLZ PRAY FOR ME THAT ALLAH FORGIVE MY SIN WHAT WILL I SAY TO MY ALLAH AFTER MY DEATH I JUST WANT THING TO BE GOOD AS PER ISLAM

 

ALLAHHAFIZ

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Betrayed woman for marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:

Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 33:

33      Say (O Prophet (saws)): ‘The things that my Lord hath indeed (absolutely) forbidden (declared ‘haraam’) are: shameful deeds whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which he hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.

 

For one who has been constant in transgressing the clearly prescribed boundaries of the Lord Most Majestic by developing and maintaining an absolutely unlawful and illicit sexual relationship with a non-mehram woman to worry about the sin of ‘breaking the heart’ of the woman he had a lewd relationship with…… is like one who has committed the heinous crime of murder feeling guilty and worrying about the sin of hitting someone on the hand!!!

 

Your Question: ….brother u tell me what am i suppose to do

Respected brother in Islam, first and foremost you should turn back to your Lord in ‘taubah’ and seek sincere repentance for your grave sin of developing and maintaining an illicit, lewd, and absolutely unlawful sexual relationship with a non-mehram woman.  If you are indeed sincere in seeking repentance and subsequently amend your conduct, it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

 

Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere ‘Taubah’ and seeks forgiveness,  Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a repentant believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’!  Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of such sincerely repentant believers, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!  

 

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

  • One is aware that he has sinned,  and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
  • Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
  • Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness,  before he has met with his appointment of death.
  • Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter. 

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy!  Surely,  Allah forgives all sins.   He indeed is the All Forgiving,  All Merciful.   Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you;  for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who,  if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin,  remember Allah instantly,  and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings.  For who,  but Allah,  can forgive sins?   (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did.   These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,  and with Gardens beneath which canals flow,  and they will reside therein forever!   How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth.   When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them,  they say, “Peace to you”;  (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord,  save us from the torment of Hell,  for its torment is killing!  It is an evil abode,  and an evil resting place”.  (And those) who,  when they spend are neither extravagant,  nor miserly,  but keep the golden mean between the two extremes.  (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone,  nor kill a soul unjustly,  which Allah has forbidden,  nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin,  and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection,  and he shall abide in a state of ignominy;  EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS),  AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS.   For then,  Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds,  and He is very Forgiving and Merciful.   In fact,  one who repents and does righteous deeds,  returns to Allah as one rightly should!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs,  say: "Peace be on you!  Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.  Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance,  and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct),  Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving,  Most Merciful."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339        Narrated by Abu Sa'id

Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!"  The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask My forgiveness!"

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 

 

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