Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Burhan

I am a regular reader of your's and really appreciate the work you are doing. My question to you is about my brother who is an 18 year old and a recent graduate of high school. He is been involved with a hindu girl for about 3 months now. Me and my family came to know about their relation a little while back. I have tried to talk to my brother about but he totally denies this fact. According to him there is nothing like that going on. I have been spying on him for quite some time now and have come to know that both of them are serious about each other and have tried to get physical. I don't want my brother to commit a sin, and by sin i mean having an unacceptable relationship with that girl. Please guide me what i can do as a sister to help him. I am in a desperate need of your help.

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Sister wishes brother to stop sin

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Respected sister in Islam, first and foremost, you can only help those who wish to be helped….it is not possible for one to help someone, regardless of how much one loves or cares about their well-being, if that person himself does not seek or wish to be helped!

 

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, it would only be an extension of your love and your genuine well-wishing for your brother that you fear for his future in this world and especially the Hereafter, and strive your utmost to politely but firmly guide him to fear Allah and His Day of Accounting, and warn him of the consequences which his daring transgressions of Allah’s Prescribed Boundaries might bring upon him.  If after your very best efforts your brother does not heed your good caution, and you genuinely intend good for your brother, there is absolutely no harm in you informing your parents so that they as his guardians may fulfill their duty and strive to stop him from falling further into sin and transgression.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.733         Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

That he heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for those in his care; the ruler is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian in his family and responsible for his charges; a woman is a guardian of her husband's house and responsible for her charges; and the servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for his charge; so everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for those under his care."

 

You being the sister are obviously neither a guardian nor responsible for the deeds of your brother; but it would be an extension of your sincere love and genuine well-wishing for your brother that you at least make sincere efforts to stop your brother falling further into transgression and sin.  The final responsibility of striving to stop your brother from sinking deeper into transgression would lie foremost upon your brother himself, and also upon his parents/guardians.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan