Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu alaikum brother,

I`m a reverted muslim and married to a Muslim, we live with my inlaws in same residence.

My sister-in-law`s son is 2 years old and he wishes to stay with his grandpa and grandma (my inlaws). My sister-in-law stays in a different residence 5 kms away from our house. He has been given a lot of love and everybody has to listen to him. He insists on watching cartoon channels on television and watches this for hours and is getting naughtier everyday. His parents have repeatedly calling him back home and he`s not ready to go. Now me and my husband have been watching this for quite sometime now and recently my husband is worried as to how this might affect his future and has asked me to check the same with you. We are of the opinion that kids must grow up with parents. Even if he`s forcible taken there; he falls sick, cries all night and insists on being taken back to our house. Please help, I suppose we are not expected to sit silent any more. We shall take your suggestion in solving this problem. Please suggest in the light of the Holy Quran and the Hadtiz.

 

Jazakallah

 

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Answer:

 

Kids live with grandparents

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, the parents/grand-parents are the absolute best well-wishers of their off-springs in all of mankind, and their appointed guardians in Shariah. If the parents, of their own free will, wish to allow their children to grow up with their parents (the children’s grand-parents) or anyone else for that matter, there is absolutely no violation of Shariah Law.

 

Your husband and you, being the uncle and aunt, are indeed close relatives of the child; and as well-meaning as your intentions might be, you must realize that you are not the appointed guardians of that child.  If for any reason there is room to believe that there might be a deficiency in the upbringing of the child if it were to live under the doting care and blind adoration of its grand-parents…..the absolute maximum you or your husband may do is, as genuine well-wishers for the future of the child and the family…. humbly, politely, and above all with wisdom, hint, or even make your concerns clear to the parents/grand-parents of the child…..but nothing more than that! 

 

As well-meaning and well-wishing your fears and your concerns for the upbringing of the child may be……your genuinely good intentions might be misconstrued and give rise to a ‘fitnah’ or unpleasant relations in the family. 

 

We reiterate again that a child staying or growing-up with theis grand-parents or with anyone else with theis parents precise approval, consent and will is absolutely lawful in the Sight of Shariah; for a parent is the natural appointed guardian and the best well-wisher of their child in all of mankind.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan