How do i avoid backbiting and how do i repent
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
salamoa
alaikum,
I hope
you are fine..I`ve three questions to ask:
1)
what is the importance of educating women in islam? and could you tell me any
dua which I could read when studying.
2) my
uncle`s wife has said some lies which my whole family believes in , me and some
other people know the truth, so my aunt doesnt treat us well, like if i`m
sitting alone with her she wont say a word to me, the most dissappointing thing
is that everybody thinks she`s the muzloom. how should our relations be with
her?
3)how
do i avoid backbiting and how do i repent if I`ve done it?
Jazakallah
khair.
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errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
How to avoid backbiting
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Q-1: what is the
importance of educating women in islam? and could you tell me any dua which I
could read when studying.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 218 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The seeking
of (religious) knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim’.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 249 Narrated by Al-Hasan al-Basri
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘He whom death
overtakes while he is engaged in acquiring knowledge with a view to reviving
Islam with the help of it, there will be one degree between him and the
Prophets in Paradise.’
There is absolutely no discrimination or distinction
between the sexes in Islam regarding the seeking of knowledge; the Messenger of
Allah (saws) guided that it is obligatory upon both, the believing men and the
believing women to strive to seek knowledge.
In light of the above guidance of the Messenger of Allah
(saws), the scholars and jurists in Islam have divided the seeking of knowledge
into two parts:
The scholars and jurists in Islam are of the opinion that
the seeking of religious knowledge is ‘fard-ayn’ or absolutely obligatory upon
every believer, men and women; and the seeking of worldly knowledge is what is
known in ‘fiqh’ or Jurisprudence as ‘fard-kifaya’ or conditionally obligatory
upon the believers, men and women. If
some amongst the Muslim Ummah strive to possess the knowledge, it would suffice
for all the believers; but if none amongst the Ummah strive to possess that
knowledge, the whole Ummah will share the blame.
Your Question: and
could you tell me any dua which I could read when studying.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 20 Surah
Taha verse 114:
114 High above all is
Allah, The King, The Truth! Be not in haste with the Qur'an before its
revelation to thee is completed but say "O my Lord! Advance me in knowledge."
One of the best supplications one can make to their Lord
Most Gracious when seeking increase in beneficial knowledge is to recite as
often as is easy for them the above supplication: "O my Lord! Advance me
in knowledge."
Q-2) my uncle`s wife
has said some lies which my whole family believes in , me and some other people
know the truth, so my aunt doesnt treat us well, like if i`m sitting alone with
her she wont say a word to me, the most dissappointing thing is that everybody
thinks she`s the muzloom. how should our relations be with her?
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah
Furqan verse 54:
54 It is He (Allah) Who has created man from water: then has He
established relationships of blood and of marriage: for thy Lord has
power (over all things).
Dear and beloved sister in Islam, the importance or significance
in Islam of building and maintaining good cordial relations with one’s
relatives cannot be over-emphasised….The Lord Most Gracious has commanded and
made it absolutely obligatory upon the believers to keep good cordial relations
with their relatives; so much so that if one breaks or severs relations with
their relatives, the Lord Most High, Most Majestic will sever His relationship
of Mercy with the person who severs relations with their relatives!
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad verse
25:
As for those who break
their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder
relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on
the earth, their’s shall be the curse,
and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:
And He leads astray
only those who disobey Allah, who break
Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what
Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the
Earth. These are indeed the people who
are the losers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws)
said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one
of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one
who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever
the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith
and kin).
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 8.15 Narrated by Anas bin Malik
Allah 's Messenger
(saws) said, "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his
lease of life be prolonged, then he should keep good relations with his kith
and kin."
Dear and beloved sister, if there happens to be one
amongst your relatives who does or says something inappropriate and strives to
strain relationships with her word or deed; you as a believer must repel her
evil by being good and gracious to her, and forgive and overlook and even hide
her faults, and treat her with due respect….for that then would be akin to
piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah
Ha-Meem verses 33-36:
33 Who is better in speech than one who calls (another) to Allah works
righteousness, and says "I am of those who bow in Islam"?
34 Nor can goodness and evil (ever) be equal. Repel (evil) with what is better (good): then will
he between whom and thee was hatred, become as it were thy friend and intimate!
35 And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise
patience and self-restraint; none but persons of the greatest good fortune.
36 And if (at any time) an incitement to discord is made to thee by the
Shaytaan, seek refuge in Allah. He is
the One Who hears and knows all things.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah
Noor verse 22:
22 Let not those among you who are endued with grace and amplitude of
means resolve by oath against helping their kinsmen those in want and those who
have left their homes in Allah's Cause: let them forgive and overlook: do
you not wish that Allah should forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving
Most Merciful.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.160 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "Whoever
believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously; and
whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should unite the bond of
kinship (i.e. keep good relation with his kith and kin); and whoever
believes in Allah and the Last Day, should talk what is good or keep
quiet."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.20 Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr
The Prophet said, "The ‘Al-Wasil’ is not
the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but ‘Al-Wasil’
is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the
bond of kinship with him."
Q-3:how do i avoid
backbiting and how do i repent if I`ve done it?
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chatper 49 Surah
Hujuraat verse 12:
12 O ye who believe! Avoid
suspicion as much (as possible), for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not
on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of
his dead brother? Nay ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is
Oft-Returning Most Merciful.
Sahih Muslim HadithHadith 6265 Narrated byAbuHurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Do you know
what is backbiting?’ They (the
Companions) said: ‘Allah and His Messenger (saws) know best. Thereupon he (the Prophet (saws)) said:
‘Backbiting implies your talking about your brother (behind his back) in a
manner which he does not like.’ It was
said to him: ‘What is your opinion about this that if I actually find (that
failing) in my brother which I made a mention of?’ He (saws) said: ‘If (that failing) is actually found (in him)
what you assert, you in fact backbited him, and if that is not in him it is a
slander!.’
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4862 Narrated by AbuBarzah al-Aslami
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘O community of
people, who believed by their tongue, and belief did not enter their hearts, do
not back-bite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone
searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah
searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in his house!’
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4860 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When I was taken up
to heaven I passed by people who had nails of copper and were scratching their
faces and their breasts.’ I asked: ‘Who
are these people, O Jibrael?’ He
replied: ‘They are those who were given to back biting and who aspersed
people's honour.’
The conditions or ways to seek
sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My
servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s
Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge
overtakes you; for then you may get no
help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you
who believe in Our Signs, say:
"Peace be on you! Your Lord had
inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.
Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and
amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
May the Lord Most Merciful accept your striving in
abstaining from what He has Declared forbidden, and count your striving amongst
your good deeds Insha Allah.
Beloved sister in Islam, if you have realized that you
have sinned against the commands of your Lord, and are sincerely sorry and
ashamed at your sin, and you have sincerely turned to your Lord seeking His
forgiveness, rest assured that your Lord Most Gracious, Most Merciful will
forgive you your deed and not hold you accountable for what happened in the
past.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 66 Surah
Tahreem verse 8:
8 O ye who believe! Turn
to Allah with ‘tawbatan nasooha’ (absolutely sincere repentance): in
the hope that your Lord will remove from you your ills and admit you to Gardens
beneath which Rivers flow, the Day that Allah will not permit to be humiliated
the Prophet and those who believe with him.
Their Light will run forward before them and by their right hands while
they say "O Our Lord! Perfect our
Light for us and grant us Forgiveness; for Thou has power over all
things."
But if one so fears their Lord, and is so upset at oneself
for transgressing the boundaries of their Majestic Lord, and is so sorry and so
ashamed that their heart will not find peace until they strive and right the
wrong they have done, and thus one personally goes and seeks the forgiveness of
their brother/sister whom one has backbited and thus wronged; then this their
state and striving is what Allah Subhanah calls ‘tawbatan nasooha’ in His
Glorious Quran: and this is the absolute best and highest form and method of
seeking ‘tawbah’!
When one makes and manifests ‘tawbatan nasooha’, not only
will their Lord Most Merciful forgive them their sin; but from His Sublime and
Infinite Mercy and Grace count this striving of theirs as amongst their best
and meritorious deeds worthy of earning magnificent and unbelievable rewards
from Him. Such is the Mercy, Grace and
Bouny of our Lord Most Gracious, who is indeed the Most Merciful of all those
who show mercy!
Sahih Muslim Hadith 4207 Narrated by Imran ibn Husayn
A woman from the Juhaynah (tribe) came to
Allah's Messenger (saws) and she had become pregnant because of adultery. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws), I
have done something for which (prescribed punishment) must be imposed upon me,
so impose that.’ Allah's Messenger
(saws) called her master and said: ‘Treat her well, and when she gives
birth bring her to me.’ He did accordingly. Then Allah's Messenger
(saws) pronounced judgment on her. Her
clothes were tied around her and then he gave the order and she was stoned to
death. He then prayed over her (funeral).
Thereupon Umar said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws), you offer
prayer for her although she had committed adultery!’ Thereupon he (saws) said: ‘She has made such a repentance
(taubatan nasooha) that if it were to be divided among seventy men of Medina,
it would be enough! Have you found any
repentance better than that she sacrificed her life for Allah, the Majestic?’
In the above narration, the woman who committed the evil
sin of ‘zina’ could have very well sought repentance directly from her Lord and
saved herself from being disgraced and humiliated and punished in the life of
this world; for her repentance to her Lord would have sufficed to wipe out her
sin. But this woman so feared Allah,
and so sought to make ‘taubatan nasooha’, that she herself went to the Messenger
of Allah (saws), confessed her sin, and asked him to prescribe the Shariah
punishment on her! Such was the
intensity and acceptability of her repentance in the Sight of the Lord Most
Gracious, that not only did Allah Subhanah forgive her the sin of ‘zina’, but
if the reward she earned for making this sincere repentance were to be divided
amongst 70 men of Madinah, it would have sufficed for them!
Thus my beloved sister in Islam, if inadvertently or in
ignorance you have back-bited someone in your past, it would be best, purest,
and akin to piety to make ‘tawbatan nasooha’ and go back to the brother/sister
whom you back-bited, confess to them your sin against them, and ask them to
forgive you…..if you do this sincerely, not only will your Lord Most Merciful
forgive you your sins, but none can possibly even imagine the rewards that this
striving might earn you in the Presence of your Lord Most Gracious.
Your Question: how
do i avoid backbiting
Dear and beloved sister in Islam, the only way to avoid
transgressing any boundary of the Lord Most High is to develop ‘taqwa’ or the
fear or consciousness that on One Inevitable Day all will be undoubtedly
gathered in the Presence of their Lord Most Majestic to give a full accounting
of each and every one of their deeds….nothing, and we reiterate, absolutely
nothing can stop man from falling in perpetual sin except the constant
remembrance and fear of the Lord Most Majestic’s Inevitable and Tumultuous
Tribunal.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan