My question is that what can i do best for my deceased parents and how important it is to go on their graves

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brother Assalam-o-Alaikum, first of all i would like to express my appreciation from the core of my heart for the great work you are doing to help muslims to become true muslims and value our Deen Islam. May Allah bless you with his blessings for the great work you are doing to help us all. Please pray for me that Allah bless me with his blessings and guide me to be on sirate mustaqeem amin.

My question is that what can i do best for my deceased parents and how important it is to go on their graves, is there any difference in praying for them at home or is it better to go to their graves. How can i be a great sadqai jareah for them.Thank you for all your efforts in helping us. Was salam


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




What can one do for dead parents

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth.  If our humble and modest efforts have helped even one brother or sister get closer to Allah and His Deen of Truth, then we would consider ourselves indeed fortunate to have been given this opportunity by the Lord Most Merciful to serve in His Cause.  We hope, beg, and pray the Merciful Lord accepts our humble and weak efforts, forgives us our shortcomings, and saves you, us, and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire.  Ameen.


Your Question: My question is that what can i do best for my deceased parents

Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, 'When a person dies all his good deeds cease except for three:

  1. a continuous act of charity (which the deceased did in his lifetime),
  2. beneficial knowledge (which the deceased left behind),
  3. and a righteous son (children) who prays for him'.''

Related by Muslim and Abu Dawood.


Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, 'The righteous works that continue to benefit a believer after his death include the knowledge that he taught and spread among others, a righteous son (children) whom he leaves behind, or a copy of the Qur'an that he bequeaths to his inheritors, or a mosque that he builds, or a rest house that he builds for the wayfarers, or a canal of water that he digs for the benefit of others, or a charity that he gives out of his property during his life while he is sound of health. He will continue to receive reward for all these even after his death.'

Related by Ibn Maajah.


Beloved brother, if your parents died as believers, and if it was their striving, their efforts, their teachings and their reminders that were responsible for you being a believer who fears Allah and the Last Day….then rest assured brother that whatever good you do, your parents will have a reward in that good deed, without any diminish in your own reward for that deed; if parents were indeed instrumental in your becoming a good and righteous believer. Thus whatever good and righteous deeds you do, your parents will have a reward in it, whether you wish a reward for them or not, provided it was they who taught you and brought you up to be a good believer.   Such is the Merciful system of Accounting of our Lord Most Merciful.


Jarir ibn Abdallah reported: "The Prophet (saws) said: 'Whoever introduces a good practice in Islam will get its reward and the rewards for all those who follow these practices after him, without any loss to their reward.  And whoever introduces a bad practice in Islam will acquire its sin and the sins of all those who practice it, without any decrease in their sins."


One of the absolute best and invaluable things a righteous off-spring can and must do, and one which immensely benefits their deceased loved ones is to remain constant in supplicating the Merciful Lord for them as often as you supplicate for yourself, and implore Allah Subhanah constantly to forgive them their sins and short-comings, have Mercy upon them, and raise their status and rewards in the Hereafter.   It is expected that the Merciful Lord will accept your good supplications for them, and reward them also for all the good and righteous deeds that you do.


Your Question: how important it is to go on their graves,

Hadrat Abdallah ibn Abi Mulaikah (r.a.) said, "Once Aishah (the wife of the Prophet (saws)) returned after visiting the graveyard. I asked, 'O Mother of the Believers, where have you been?' She said: 'I went out to visit the grave of my brother Abd ar-Rahman.' I asked her: 'Didn't the Messenger of Allah (saws) prohibit visiting graves?' She said, 'Yes, he did forbid visiting graves during the early days, but later on he ordered us to visit them'."

Related by Al-Hakim and Al-Baihaqi.


Dear and beloved brother, the purpose and wisdom behind visiting graves of one’s loved ones or the graveyard of the believers is that one who is alive remembers that one day he too will reach his decreed destination of the grave, remember the concept of the Hereafter, and also to fulfill their emotional requirement to make supplications for the deceased loved ones.  Allah is our witness brother, nothing reminds one who is alive of his dispensability and his own death than a visit to a graveyard!


Thus if ever one gets too much involved in the world and its glitter, or one realizes that the ultimate truth of death and the Hereafter has distanced itself from his mind….one should make a visit to a graveyard and contemplate their own inevitable end….such a visit to the graveyard done with the right intentions truly puts this world, its many and untold temptations, and all its glitter and glamour in the right perspective of those who are alive! 


Even the supplications which the Messenger of Allah (saws) made and taught the believers to recite when visiting a graveyard, reminds one of their inevitable end and destination:

Ibn Abbas reported: "Once the Prophet (saws) passed by graves in Madinah. He (saws) tumed his face toward them saying: 'Peace be upon you, O dwellers of these graves.  May Allah forgive us and you. You have preceded us, and we are following your trail'."

Related by Tirmidhi.


Aishah reported: "I asked: 'What should I say when I pass by a graveyard, O Messenger of Allah (saws)?' He (saws) replied, 'Say, "Peace be upon the believing men and women dwelling here. May Allah grant mercy to those who have preceded us and those who are to follow them. Certainly, Allah willing, we will join you"'.

Related by Muslim.


Thus beloved brother, the importance of visiting graves of one’s loved ones or a graveyard of the believers has more to do with benefiting the one who visits them than those who are buried in them.  The supplications one makes for the deceased loves’ one do indeed benefit them, but one does not need to go to a graveyard to make supplications for the deceased, one may very well make supplications for their deceased loved ones wherever they may be.


Your Question: is there any difference in praying for them at home or is it better to go to their graves.

It would indeed be prudent to occasionally visit the graves of your deceased parents, for that will remind you of the Hereafter….but if truth be told, there is absolutely no difference whether you make supplications for them at their graves or from your homes.  But a visit to a graveyard helps in establishing that thin and unbreakable link between life and death…a link which we all seem to forget too often! 


Your Question: How can i be a great sadqai jareah for them

Amongst the absolute best ‘sadaqa jaareeyah’ one leaves behind them are their righteous off-spring….thus my beloved brother, if you indeed intend to become a great ‘sadaqa jareeyah’ for your beloved deceased parents, strive your absolute utmost to submit yourself completely, totally, and unconditionally to the obedience of your Lord and His Messenger (saws) and leave no opportunity to do righteous good deeds as guided and commanded by them.   Allah is our witness brother, if your parents were instrumental in your being a believer, every iota of good deed you do, they too shall earn the same reward as you, without any diminish in your own reward. 


So brother, we remind you as we remind ourselves…to strive to be the best muslim of our generation….worship Allah with the sincerity and intensity like never before….immerse yourself in obeying and following every practice of the Messenger of Allah (saws) so much so that your life becomes a shadow of his blessed life….do good to your near and far relatives….do good to your believing brethren in faith and in humanity…do good to your wife and children…your neighbors…your colleagues… your friends and your acquaintances…and if your Lord has blessed you with abundance…spend a portion of your bestowed wealth in His Cause…build schools, and hospitals…and orphanages….help the poor and needy…and if your Lord has blessed you with knowledge then grasp every opportunity to pass the Message of your Lord to all who are willing to listen to good caution….


Dear and beloved brother, the more good righteous deeds you do, the better and greater ‘sadaqa jaareeyah’ you will be for your beloved deceased parents….and remember to make supplications for them as often as you make for yourself, for the good supplications of a righteous off-spring immensely benefit their deceased parents.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,





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