My question is regarding the duties of a wife towards her husband

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

 Brother my question is regarding the duties of a wife towards her husband. I had various conversations about this but finally I think I should ask you for a better answers of the following questions.

  1. Does cooking, washing and cleaning of a house etc. comes in duties as well.
  2. If both are working, who is more responsible for children education and their needs.
  3. Is husband only responsible for earning money.

May Allah help us all in understanding what are our responsibilities towards each other.


Allah Hafiz 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Duties of Husband Wife in Marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question-1:  Does cooking, washing and cleaning of a house etc. comes in duties as well.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34   Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means.  Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)

 

The complete, and I repeat complete responsibility of the upkeep and maintenance of the house and the family is the responsibility and duty of the men in Islam.  It is the responsibility and duty of the men in Islam to protect and maintain the women, and the heavy and weighty responsibility the Lord has laid upon the women is that they are to remain devoutly obedient to their husbands and guard in their husband’s absence what the Lord would have them guard…ie. their chastity, their husband’s property, his honor, etc. 

 

It is the responsibility of the men in Islam to make sure that food is provided to the womenfolk in their care, that clothing is provided for them, that a place is provided for them to reside in, etc.; thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is the duty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women.  

 

But if the women, of her own free will and as a gesture of good-will, wishes to cook, wash and clean the house, etc.; it would be amongst the ‘ehsaan’ or something over and above her role and duty that she does, thus the husband should be grateful to her and be appreciative for her help and favor.  If the woman does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family.

 

The Lord Most Gracious has created the woman as a ‘princess’ and made the men as her protectors and maintainers; it is the duty and responsibility of the father to feed, clothe and house her from her birth until she marries; then by her husband until he dies; then by her sons until she dies!  Thus from her birth to her death, it is the duty and responsibility of the men to maintain and provide for their womenfolk in Islam.

 

Your Question-2: If both are working, who is more responsible for children education and their needs.

There is absolutely no harm or restriction if the woman wishes to work, provided all the laws of Shariah are honored.  The money she earns from her work belongs to the woman, and she is not required to spend even a cent of her wealth on the upkeep of the house or the family; this is her money and she may do with it whatever she wills and pleases.  If she pleases to help her husband with her wealth, it would be over and above the role and duty laid upon her by her Lord; thus the husband should be grateful and appreciative of her.   

 

The complete financial responsibility for the maintenance of the children is upon the shoulders of the husband in Islam alone; but it would be the responsibility of both parents that the emotional and spiritual needs of the children are fulfilled, regardless of whether one or both amongst the parents work.  

 

Your Question-3: Is husband only responsible for earning money.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. 

 

Although the complete financial responsibility in running the household is the prime duty and responsibility of the husband in Islam, it is also his responsibility to take measures to maintain and protect his family to the absolute best of his ability. Basically the husband is responsible to fulfill every aspect and need of his family in Islam.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.116         Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for those under your ward). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards)."

 

My dear and beloved brother, the above are the direct answers according to Islamic Law for your questions; but the sacred institution of marriage in Islam is not a union between two people who compete against each other, but rather a marriage in Islam is a union between two people who complement each other in their partnership, who develop and maintain the love and mercy between them that Allah Subhanah has created for them in their marriage, and strive together as a team to live a life of peace, harmony and tranquility under the guidance of Allah.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21      And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

 

If one truly seeks guidance in one’s marriage, there is no better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in one’s relationship with one’s spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278         Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252        Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465     Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.’

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469     Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358        Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq

The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority will not enter Paradise."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285         Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284         Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali

The Prophet (saws) said:’When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286         Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.’

 

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

Burhan

 

 

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