Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

AuA
I have been engaged for almost a year and InshaAllah am getting married soon. During this one-year with the consent of our parents my fiancé and I have stayed in regular touch through email and sometimes have also spoken on the phone.

What I would like to know is that if my emails and telephone conversations have generally centered round religion and general queries (about each other) then is emailing OK. And all this is done with the complete knowledge of our parents. In fact they encourage it though they are not keen that we meet in-person (and if don’t meet outside). I have stayed in contact with the guy mainly because of religious reasons. He was not one to offer Sunnah prayers or read Quran regularly or try understanding various aspects from the religious point of view while I have always had the niyyah to marry to guy who tries to follow the straight path and tries to learn his religion. Masha Allah the two of us have come a long way in terms of understanding Islam. But some people say it is better to communicate with a guy after Nikkah. If we remain formal and stick to Islam and general queries is this valid? What if after the Nikkah this person had refused to follow Sunnah what would I have done then? I would greatly appreciate if you could shed some light on this for young Muslims who are trying to learn how to walk the Straight Path and practice taqwa in this day and age. Jazak Allah

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Relationship after Engagement

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Beloved Sister in Islam, the truth is that an ‘engagement’ has absolutely no legal basis in Shariah, thus your fiancé remains a non-mehram to you until the actual nikaah between you and him is performed.  After ‘nikaah’, you may legally enjoy his company as much as you wish. 

 

There is absolutely no harm in your talking to your fiancé on the phone or even chat on the internet, provided one of your mehram relatives (your father, your brother, your uncle, etc.) is present when you are in conversation with him.  Islam does not permit the two of you to talk in absolute privacy.  Allah is our witness, that would be purer and better for both of you in the Sight of your Lord, and if you have patience and abstain from talking to him in private only for the sake of Allah, He will bless you and bestow upon you an unending reward in this life and the Hereafter.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118        Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram)woman, the Shaytaan makes a third."

 

Beloved sister, if such is the longing between the two of you to talk to each other, the best solution is to request your parents to perform your ‘nikaah’ as soon as possible; then in the Sight of Shariah and Allah Subhanah, the two of you become absolutely legal for each other and you may talk, meet, and enjoy each others company as much as your hearts desire.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

Burhan