Some Feedback regards to your answers/reply

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

 Salaam,
 
thank you for taking the time to reply to my question. Forgive me because it appeared that I had assumed that your guidance and council was more like that of emotional and moral support instead of the formal, brief and generalised method of structured replies. The website gave me impression that it was able to give genuine advice based on a persons circumstances and that all types of Muslims were able to come here to seek advice and, in my case some form of help. 
 
Though I appreciate your answer I felt slightly let down and a little patronised in your approach in attempting to awaken my senses to the global suffering, poverty and injustice that is going on in the world today. I am highly aware of every day news, I am not oblivious to the suffering of others. However, I also do not need to be made felt like a 'Whiney' ungrateful individual just because you feel that my issues are not of any value until my body is blown up and scattered on the road...like you tried to compare to.. I understand that so many others are suffering and worse of, though please don't disregard a persons problems when they reach out. A problem no matter how big or small is still a problem. The courage and preparation it took for me to finally voice my concerns to you made me feel like an insignificant child from your answer. Like I said, it was most likely my own fault for assuming your Q&A to be a bit more constructive and supportive, not dismissive and condescending.. I however did take on board what you said in terms of life being of trials and appreciate your duas in God's assistance towards my aid. I just feel that in future, for others..you may want to word your answers in a more positive manner and with more of a supporting genuineness then from what I received. I feel other users will feel a lot more positive and hopeful in their prayers and resilience with a reply like that, as opposed to feeling belittled and guilty for not having problems of people in third world countries. I was at my weakest and most separate when I wrote to you. Perhaps it was the length of my ramblings that put you off. I have learnt against that now, my problems are my own and as you so eloquently put, good times don't last anyway, so might as well keep on living like this until my life ends. Such a good morale booster. I will hopefully strengthen my faith in my own way eventually, but as I said before, thank you for the attempt in trying to help me. I just found your approach in doing so very harsh and brief. Nevertheless, kind regards and I wish you a prosperous Ramadan. Salam

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sister, your concerns and reservation about our answer is very valid indeed, and maybe our choice of words were scintillatingly harsh for you to digest. Please do accept our heartfelt apologies, but we would like you to understand that our intention was to inspire you out of your defeatist and depressive mood and mode.


We understood from your narration that you were an educated young lady who was well versed with the English language and aware of whatever is happening around you. Please just put yourself in our position for a few moments. We usually use the soothing ayahs of the Quran and the balming affects of the authentic a'ahadiths to answer questions of people we think do not comprehend the harsh cards that are dealt to them in their lives. But we judged you correctly that you were well aware of the realities of life, and that you were also well aware of your deen and therefore tried to shake and wake you up to take the bull-horns of life into your hands and deal with it in the best manner possible.

MaashaAllah, to some extent we were successful in stirring your senses when you stated, " I will hopefully strengthen my faith in my own way". That has always been our job. To strengthen the resolve of our brothers and sisters who sometimes feel that the whole world has just forsaken them.

It was never our intention to malign or belittle you. We wanted you to bring back your confidence in Allah swt so that eventually you would achieve success. Its just the pressure of the trials and tribulations that life throws at you that sometimes one gets dis-orientated. Sister, believe me you don't need our help at all. We see in you the potential to help others who are in similar circumstances. You have the word power and the experience and we are confident that once you start helping others you will start feeling better yourself.

Sister trust us when we say that we receive scores of such requests for help and assistance, and it is by the grace of Allah swt that we are able to respond to them and get them back on track, so that they continue to put their full trust in Allah swt. If ever you feel like joining us to help the less fortunate in the Ummah, we would be honored to include you in our team.

Here we would like to suggest you an alternative path to try in your career. So far you have not been successful in finding a good job in the U.K., we feel that you should try and seek to work abroad, like in the Middle East wherein you could use your qualification and your religion to your advantage. Sometimes Allah swt grants rizq in strange places. Go into the internet and see what positions are available. We assume you are a British national, so you do not need a visa in most Middle East countries.

Once again please accept our apologies for the wrong approach we used. We will InshaAllah try and be more careful so that we do not annoy anybody else. Our humble request is that you do not give up and put your full trust in Allah swt decree and continue making your best efforts to make things work for you. If there is any way we can be of assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us. Ramadhan Kareem with a request to remember us in your kind prayers always.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline

 
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