The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

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She mixes with other women and puts up with their insults

The active Muslim woman is a woman with a mission who has a message to deliver. Whoever undertakes this important mission should prepare herself to be patient and steadfast, and to make sacrifices along the way.

The active Muslim woman has no other choice but to put up with the bad attitude and rude reactions of some women, their misinterpretation of her aims, their mocking of her call to adhere to the morals and manners of Islam, their shallow and confused thinking, their slow response to the truth, their focus on themselves and their own interests, their concern with foolish, trivial matters, their devotion to this world and its pleasures, their failure to take the Hereafter into account or to follow the commandments of Islam, and other foolish things that may annoy the da`iyahs and make them, in moments of irritation and frustration, think of isolating themselves and keeping away from people, and abandoning their work for the sake of Allah (SWT). This is what all those men and women who seek to call others to Allah (SWT) face in every place and time.

For this reason the Prophet (PBUH) sought to strengthen the resolve of the believers and reassure them, by announcing that those who have patience in treading the long and difficult path of da`wah are better, according to the scale of taqwa and righteous deeds, than those who have no patience:

"The believer who mixes with people and bears their insults with patience is better than the one who does not mix with people or bear their insults with patience."328

Note: 328. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/478, Bab alladhi yusbir 'ala adha al-nas.

The Prophet (PBUH), and the other Prophets before him, represent the supreme example of patience in the face of people's misbehaviour, suspicions and foolishness. The da`i needs to hold fast to this example every time he feels his patience running out, or that he is under stress and overwhelmed by the insults and hostility of people.

One example of the Prophet's supreme patience comes in a report given by Bukhari and Muslim. The Prophet (PBUH) divided some goods as he usually did, but one of the Ansar said, "By Allah (SWT), this division was not done for the sake of Allah (SWT)." The Prophet (PBUH) heard these unjust words and was deeply offended by them. His expression changed and he became angry, but then he said, "Musa suffered worse insults than these, and he bore them with patience." With these few words, the Prophet's anger was dispelled and his noble, forgiving heart was soothed.

This is the attitude of the Prophets and the sincere da`is in every time and place: patience in the face of people's insults, suspicions and rumours. Without this patience, the da`wah could not continue and the da`is could not persevere.

The clever Muslim woman who calls other to Allah (SWT) is not lacking in intelligence; she is able to understand the psychology, intellectual level and social position of her audience, and she addresses each type of woman in the way that will be most appropriate and effective.

She repays favours and is grateful for them

One of the characteristics of the true Muslim woman is that she is faithful and loyal: she appreciates favours and thanks the one who does them, following the command of the Prophet (PBUH):

"Whoever has a good turn done to him should return the favour."329

Note: 329. A hasan jayyid gharib hadith narrated by Tirmidhi, 4/380, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, 87.

"Whoever seeks refuge with Allah (SWT), then grant him protection . . . and whoever does you a good turn, then return the favour."330

Note: 330. Reported by Abu Dawud, 2/172, Kitab al-zakah; Ahmad, 2/68. Its isnad is sahih.

For the alert Muslim woman, gratitude for favours is a religious matter encouraged by the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH). It is not merely the matter of social courtesy dictated by mood or whatever interests may be at stake. The one who does a favour deserves to be thanked, even if no particular interest is served by her deed. It is sufficient that she has done a favour, and for this she deserves to be sincerely thanked. This is what Islam expects of Muslim men and women. One thanks the other person for her good intentions and chivalrous motives, and for hastening to do good, regardless of the actual or potential outcome in terms of one's interests and desires.

The concern of Islam to establish this attitude in the heart of the Muslim reached the extent that gratitude towards Allah (SWT) is deemed to be incomplete and imperfect without gratitude towards people for their favours and good deeds. The one who does not thank people for their acts of kindness or find a word to say that will make them feel chivalrous, is an ungrateful wretch who does not appreciate blessings or give thanks for them. Such a one is not qualified to give thanks to Allah (SWT), the Giver of all blessings and favours. Concerning this the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"He does not give thanks to Allah (SWT) who does not give thanks to people."331

Note: 331. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/310, Bab man lam yashkur al-nas.

The wise Muslim woman does not forget that thanking the one who has done a favour encourages good deeds and makes people become accustomed to acknowledging and appreciating good deeds. All of this will strengthen the ties of friendship between the members of a community, open their hearts to love, and motivate them to do good deeds. This is what Islam aims to instil and reinforce in the Islamic society.

She visits the sick

Visiting the sick is one of the Islamic social customs that was established and encouraged by the Prophet (PBUH), who made it a duty on every Muslim man and woman, and made it a right that one Muslim may expect from another:

"The rights of a Muslim over his brother are five: he should return his salam, visit the sick, attend funerals, accept invitations, and `bless' a person (by saying yarhamuk Allah) when he sneezes."332

Note: 332. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 452, Bab 'iyadah al-marid.

According to another report, the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"The rights of the Muslim over his brother are six." It was asked, "What are they?" The Prophet (PBUH) said: "When you meet him, greet him with salam; when he invites you, accept his invitation; when he seeks your advice, advise him; when he sneezes and says al-hamdu-lillah, `bless' him (by saying yarhamuk Allah); when he is ill, visit him; and when he dies, accompany him (to his grave)."333

Note: 333. Sahih Muslim, 14/143, Kitab al-salam, bab min haqq al-Muslim li'l-Muslim radd al-salam.

When the Muslim woman visits the sick, she does not feel that she is merely doing a favour or trying to be nice; she feels that she is doing an Islamic duty that the Prophet (PBUH) urged Muslims to do:

"Feed the hungry, visit the sick, and ransom the prisoners of war."334

Note: 334. Fath al-Bari, /517, Kitab al-at'imah, bab kulu min tayyibat ma razaqnakum.

Al-Bara' ibn `Azib (RAA) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) commanded us to visit the sick, to attend funerals, to `bless' someone when he sneezes, to fulfil all oaths, to come to the aid of the oppressed, to accept invitations, and to greet everyone with salam."335

Note: 335. Bukhari and Muslim. See Riyad al-Salihin, 451, Kitab 'iyadah al-marid, bab 'iyadah al-marid.

When the Muslim woman visits the sick, she does not feel that this is a burdensome duty that could depress her because of the atmosphere of gloom and despair that may surround the sick person. On the contrary, she senses a feeling of spiritual joy and satisfaction which none can feel except those who truly understand the hadith which describes the goodness, reward and blessing contained in such visits. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Allah (SWT) will say on the Day of Resurrection: `O son of Adam, I fell ill and you did not visit Me.' He will say, `O Lord, how could I visit You when You are the Lord of the Worlds?' He will say, `Did you not know that My servant so-and-so had fallen ill, and you did not visit him? Did you not know that had you visited him, you would have found Me with him? O son of Adam, I asked you for food and you did not feed Me.' He will say, `O Lord, how could I feed you when You are the Lord of the Worlds?' He will say, `Did you not know that My servant so-and-so asked you for food, and you did not feed him? Did you not know that had you fed him you would surely have found that [i.e., the reward for doing so] with Me? O son of Adam, I asked you to give Me to drink and you did not give Me to drink.' He will say, `O Lord, how could I give You to drink when You are the Lord of the Worlds?' He will say, `My servant so-and-so asked you to give him to drink and you did not give him to drink. Had you given him to drink you would surely have found that with him.'"336

Note: 336. Sahih Muslim, 16/125, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab fadl 'iyadah al-marid.

How blessed is such a visit, and how great a good deed, which aman undertakes to do for his sick brother, when by doing so he is in the presence of the Almighty Lord who witnesses his noble deed and rewards him generously for it. Is there any greater and more blessed visit which is honoured and blessed and encouraged by the Lord of Heaven and Earth? How great is the misery and loss that will befall the one who failed in this duty! How great will be his humiliation when the Almighty Lord declares, before all present: "O son of Adam, I fell ill and you did not visit Me . . . Did you not know that My servant so-and-so had fallen ill, and you did not visit him? Did you not know that had you visited him, you would have found Me with him?" We will leave to our imagination the sense of regret, humiliation and shame that will overwhelm the man who neglected to visit his sick brother, at the time when such regret will be of no avail.

The sick person in an Islamic community feels that he is not alone at his hour of need; the empathy and prayers of the people around him envelop him and alleviate his suffering. This is the pinnacle of human civility and emotion. No other nation in history has ever known such a level of emotional and social responsibility as exists in the ummah of Islam.

The sick person in the West may find a hospital to admit him and a doctor to give him medicine, but rarely will he find a healing touch, compassionate word, kindly smile, sincere prayers, or true empathy. The materialistic philosophy that has taken over Westerners' lives has extinguished the light of human emotion, destroyed brotherly feelings towards one's fellow-man, and removed any motives but materialistic ones for doing good deeds.

The Westerner does not have any motive to visit the sick, unless he feels that he may gain some material benefit from this visit sooner or later. In contrast, we find that the Muslim is motivated to visit the sick in the hope of earning the reward which Allah (SWT) has prepared for the one who gets his feet dusty (i.e., goes out and about) for His sake.

There are many hadith texts on this topic, which awaken feelings of brotherhood in the Muslim's heart and strongly motivate him to visit his sick brother. For example:

"When the Muslim visits his (sick) Muslim brother, he will remain in the fruits of Paradise337 until he returns."338

Note: 337. A metaphor for the reward earned [Translator].

Note: 338. Sahih Muslim, 16/125, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab fadl 'iyadah al-marid.

"No Muslim visits a (sick) Muslim in the morning but seventy thousand angels will bless him until the evening, and if he visits him in the evening, seventy thousand angels will bless him until the morning, and fruits from Paradise will be his."339

Note: 339. Reported by Tirmidhi, 3/292, Kitab al-jana'iz, 2. He said it is a hasan hadith.

With his deep insight into human psychology, the Prophet (PBUH) understood the positive impact of such visits on the sick person and his family, so he never neglected to visit the sick and speak to them the kindest words of prayer and consolation. He was the epitome of such kindness, which led him to visit a young Jewish boy who used to serve him, as Anas (RAA) narrated:

"A young Jewish boy used to serve the Prophet (PBUH). He fell ill, so the Prophet (PBUH) went to visit him. He sat by his head and told him, `Enter Islam.' The boy looked to his father, who was present with him. His father said, `Obey Abu'l-Qasim.' So the boy entered Islam. The Prophet (PBUH) left, saying, `Praise be to Allah, Who has saved him from the Fire."340

Note: 340. Fath al-Bari, 3/219, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab hal yu'rad 'ala al-sabi al-Islam?

When visiting this sick Jewish boy, the Prophet (PBUH) did not neglect to call him to Islam, because he knew the effects his visit would have on the boy and his father, who were overwhelmed by his generosity, kindness and gentle approach. So they responded to him, this visit bore fruits of guidance, and the Prophet (PBUH) left praising Allah (SWT) that a soul had been saved from the Fire. What a great man, and what a wise and eloquent da`i the Prophet (PBUH) was!

The Prophet (PBUH) was so concerned about visiting the sick that he set out principles and guidelines for so doing, which were followed by the Sahabah and recorded in the books of Sunnah.

One of these practices is to sit at the head of the sick person, as we have seen in the story of the Jewish boy, and as Ibn `Abbas (RAA) said:

"When the Prophet (PBUH) visited a sick person, he would sit at his head then say seven times: `I ask Almighty Allah (SWT), the Lord of the Mighty Throne, to heal you.'"341

Note: 341. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad,1/633, Bab ayna yaq'ud al-'a'id.

Another of these practices is to wipe the body of the sick person with the right hand and pray for him, as `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:

"The Prophet (PBUH) used to visit some of his relatives and wipe them with his right hand, saying `O Allah, Lord of mankind, remove the suffering. Heal for You are the Healer. There is no healing except for Your healing, the healing which leaves no trace of sickness.'"342

Note: 342. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 454, Kitab 'iyadah al-marid, bab fima yad'u bihi li'l-marid.

Ibn `Abbas (RAA) said:

"The Prophet (PBUH) went to visit a Bedouin who was sick, and whenever he visited a sick person, he would say, `No worry, (it is) purification343, in sha Allah."344

Note: 343. i.e., may your sickness be an expiation and cleanse you of your sins [Author].

Note: 344. Fath al-Bari, 10/118.

The Muslim woman whom Islam has filled with a sense of great humanity hastens to visit the sick whenever she hears news of someone's illness. She does not try to postpone or avoid such visits, because she feels the importance of them in the depths of her heart, as the Prophet (PBUH) described it and as the virtuous early Muslim women put it into practice in the most praiseworthy fashion. They did not only visit women who were sick; they also visited men, within the framework of modesty and avoiding fitnah.

In Sahih Bukhari, it states that Umm al-Darda' visited an Ansari man who lived in the mosque (when he was sick).

The same source also gives the following account:

"Qutaybah told us, from Malik, from Hisham ibn `Urwah, from his father, from `A'ishah who said: `When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) came to Madinah, Abu Bakr and Bilal, may Allah be pleased with them, fell ill. I entered upon them and said, "O my father, how are you feeling? O Bilal, how are you feeling?"'"345

Note: 345. Fath al-Bari, 10/117, Kitab al-murda [?], bab 'iyadah al-nisa' al-rijal.

The earliest Muslim women understood the meaning of visiting the sick and the role it plays in maintaining the ties of friend, compassion and affection. So they hastened to perform this noble duty, lifting the spirits of the sick person, wiping away the tears of the grief-stricken, alleviating the burden of distress, strengthening the ties of brotherhood, and consoling the distressed. The modern Muslim woman could do well to follow the example of the early Muslim women and revive this praiseworthy sunnah

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