She does not seek the divorce of another woman so that she may take her place - The Ideal Muslimah

The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

She follows Islamic etiquette when she sneezes

It is no secret to the Muslim woman that just as Islam has defined the manners governing the act of yawning in gatherings, it has also defined the etiquette to be observed when one sneezes. Islam teaches the Muslims, men and women, how they should behave when they sneeze, what they should say to the one who sneezes, and how they should pray for him or her.

Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:

"The Prophet (PBUH) said: `Allah (SWT) likes the act of sneezing and dislikes the act of yawning. When any one of you sneezes and says "al-hamdu-lillah", then he has the right to hear every Muslim say "yarhamuk Allah." But yawning is from the Shaytan, so if any of you feels the urge to yawn, he should resist it as much as he can, for when any of you yawns, the Shaytan laughs at him."²⁸⁷

Note: 287. Fath al-Bari, 10/611, Kitab al-adab, bab idha tatha'ab fa layada' yadahu 'ala fihi

This simple reflex action does not occur in the Muslim's life being regulated by certain manners which make the Muslims feel, in the depths of their heart, that this religion came to reform all issues in this life, great and small like, and to give them certain words to say which would constantly connect humanity to Allah (SWT), the Lord of the Worlds.

When a Muslim woman sneezes, she should say "Al-hamdu lillah," and the one who hears her should say, "yarhamuk Allah." Then she must respond to her sister's du`a' by saying "yahdikum Allah wa yuslih balakum (may Allah guide you and correct your thinking)." This is the teaching of the Prophet (PBUH) according to the hadith narrated by Bukhari:

"When any one of you sneezes, let him say `al-hamdu lillah,' and let his brother or companions say `yarhamuk Allah.' And if he says `yarhamuk Allah,' let the first one say, `yahdikum Allah wa yuslih balakum.'"²⁸⁸

Note: 288. Fath al-Bari, 10/608, Kitab al-adab, bab idha tatha'ab fa layada' yadahu 'ala fihi

This du`a', yarhamuk Allah, is said to the one who sneezes in response to his or her saying al-hamdu lillah. If he or she does not say al-hamdu lillah, then there is no obligation to respond in this way. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"When any of you sneezes and praises Allah (SWT), then respond to him [by saying yarhamuk Allah], but if he does not praise Allah (SWT), then do not respond to him."²⁸⁹

Note: 289. Sahih Muslim, 18/121, Kitab al-zuhd, bab tashmiyah al-'atish.

Anas (RAA) said:

"Two men sneezed in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH), and he responded to one of them and not the other. The one to whom he did not respond said, `So-and-so sneezed and you responded. I sneezed and you did not respond.' He said, `He praised Allah (SWT), but you did not.'"²⁹⁰

Note: 290. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 448, Kitab al-salam, bab istihbab tashmiyah al-'atish.

Discussing these words which the Prophet (PBUH) encouraged the Muslims to say when someone sneezes highlights their ultimate aim, which is to mention and praise Allah (SWT), and to strengthen the ties of brotherhood and friendship among all Muslims, men and women. The one who sneezes praises Allah (SWT) for relief from some sensitivity or irritation which he had in his nose, and the one who hears him praise Allah (SWT) prays for mercy for him, because the one who praises Allah (SWT) deserves mercy. The one who sneezes then responds with a longer and more comprehensive du`a' which is full of meanings of goodness, love and friendship.

Thus Islam takes these involuntary actions of Muslims and makes them into opportunities for remembering and praising Allah (SWT) and reinforcing the feelings of brotherhood (and sisterhood), love and compassion in their hearts.

Another of the good manners to be observed when sneezing is to place one's hand over one's mouth and to make as little noise as possible. This is what the Prophet (PBUH) used to do. Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said,

"When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) sneezed, he used to place his hand or part of his garment over his mouth and thus reduce the noise he made."²⁹¹

Note: 291. Reported by Abu Dawud, 5/288, Kitab al-adab, 98; Tirmidhi, 5/86, Kitab al-adab, 6. Tirmidhi said it is a hasan sahih hadith.

The well-mannered Muslim woman who is aware of Islamic etiquette does not forget, in such situations where a person may be taken by surprise, to conduct herself in the manner prescribed by the Prophet (PBUH) and to use the same words that he is reported to have used when he sneezed. This is the etiquette to be observed, in obedience to the words of the Prophet (PBUH), whenever she or another person sneezes, or in response to a sister who "blesses" her (says yarhamuk Allah) when she sneezes.

She does not seek the divorce of another woman so that she may take her place

The true Muslim woman feels that she is living in a Muslim community, whose members are her brothers and sisters. In such a divinely-guided community, cheating, deceit, treachery and all the other vile attitudes that are rampant in societies that have deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT), are forbidden.

One of the worst of these attitudes is that of the woman who looks at a married man with the intention of snatching him from his wife once they are divorced so that he will be all hers. The true Muslim woman is the furthest removed from this vile attitude, which the Prophet (PBUH) forbade when he forbade a numbers of other, similarly evil attitudes and practices. We see this in the hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah (RAA), who said:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `Do not outbid one another (in order to raise prices artificially)²⁹²; do not undercut one another²⁹³; a town-dweller should not sell something on behalf of a Bedouin²⁹⁴; a man should not propose to a woman to whom his brother has already proposed; a woman should not ask for the divorce of another so that she might deprive her of everything that belongs to her.²⁹⁵"²⁹⁶

Note: 292. i.e., a person should not raise the price of something he has no intention of buying, in order to mislead another. [Author]

Note: 293. i.e., do not ask a person to return something he has bought so that you may sell him something similar for a lower price. [Author]

Note: 294. i.e., he should not act as an agent for him, controlling prices in a way that harms the community. [Author]

Note: 295. i.e., she should not ask a man to divorce his wife and marry her instead, so that she will enjoy all the comforts and good treatment that were previously enjoyed by the one who is divorced. [Author]

Note: 296. Fath al-Bari, 4/352, 353, Kitab al-buyu', bab la yabi' 'ala bay' akhihi; Sahih Muslim, 9/198, Kitab al-nikah, bab tahrim khutbah al-rajul 'ala khutbah akhihi. This version is that narrated by Muslim.

According to a report narrated by Bukhari, also from Abu Hurayrah, the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"It is not permitted for a woman to ask for her sister's divorce so that she may take everything she has, for she will have what has been decreed for her."²⁹⁷

Note: 297. Fath al-Bari, 9/219, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-shurut allati la tukhall fi'l-nikah ???

The Muslim woman is the sister of another, and believes that what Allah (SWT) has decreed for her must surely happen. She cannot be a true believer unless she likes for her sister what she likes for herself, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"None of you truly believes until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself."²⁹⁸

Note: 298. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/60, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab yuhibb li-akhihi ma yuhibb linafsihi.

The Muslim woman is protected by her knowledge and faith from falling into the trap of this sin. She is saved from such appalling error by her obedience to Allah (SWT) and His Messenger, and by her acceptance of the high human values that Islam has made part of her nature. She does not avoid this sin only to be protected from the scandal that surrounds a woman who commits such a vile deed; a woman could conceal her evil schemes and thus be spared social blame, but she can never escape the punishment of Allah (SWT), Who knows what is secret and what is yet more hidden. [Ta-Ha 20:7]

She chooses the work that suits her feminine nature

Islam has spared women the burden of having to work to earn a living, and has made it obligatory on her father, brother, husband or other male relative to support her. So the Muslim woman does not seek work outside the home unless there is pressing financial need due to the lack of a relative or spouse to maintain her honourably, or her community needs her to work in a specialised area such as befits her feminine nature and will not compromise her honour or religion.

Islam has made it obligatory for a man to spend on his family, and has given him the responsibility of earning the costs of living, so that his wife may devote herself being a wife and mother, creating a joyful and pleasant atmosphere in the home and organising and running its affairs.

This is the Islamic view of woman and the family, and this is the Islamic philosophy of marriage and family life.

The Western philosophy of women's role, the home, the family and children is based on the opposite of this. When a girl reaches a certain age - usually seventeen years old - neither her father, her brother nor any of her male relatives are obliged to support her. She has to look for work to support herself, and to save whatever she can to offer to her future husband. If she gets married, she has to help her husband with the expenses of the home and children. When she gets old, if she is still able to earn, she must continue to work to earn a living, even if her children are rich.

No doubt the wise Muslim woman understands the huge difference between the position of the Muslim woman and the position of women in the West. The Muslim woman is honoured, protected, and guaranteed a decent living; the Western woman works hard and is subjected to exhaustion and humiliation, especially when she reaches old age.

Since the end of the last century, Western thinkers have continually complained about the plight of Western women. They have warned their people about the impending collapse of Western civilization, due to women's going out to work, the disintegration of the family and the neglect of the children.

The great Islamic da`i Dr. Mustafa al-Siba`i, may Allah have mercy on him, collected a number of comments by Western thinkers in his book Al-mar'ah bayna al-fiqh wa'l-qanun (Woman between fiqh and law). These comments reflect the severe anger and deep anguish felt by those thinkers when they see how low the position of women in the West has become. We wilook here at a few of these comments that give a vivid impression of the state of women in the West.

The French economic philosopher Jules Simon said: "Women have started to work in textile factories and printing presses, etc. . .. The government is employing them in factories, where they may earn a few francs. But on the other hand, this has utterly destroyed the bases of family life. Yes, the husband may benefit from his wife's earnings, but apart from that, his earnings have decreased because now she is competing with him for work."

He also commented: "There are other, higher-class women, who work as book-keepers or store-keepers, or who are employed by the government in the field of education. Many of them work for the telegraph service, the post office, the railways or the Bank of France, but these positions are taking them away from their families completely."²⁹⁹

Note: 299. Al-mar'ah bayna al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 176.

"A woman must remain a woman, because with this quality she can find happiness or bring it to others. Let us reform the position of women, but let us not change them. Let us beware of turning them into men, because that would make them lose much, and we would lose everything. Nature³⁰⁰ has done everything perfectly, so let us study it and try to improve it, and let us beware of anything that could take us away from its laws."³⁰¹

Note: 300. This is an atheistic Western expression, which refers to "nature" instead of Allah the Creator, after the West turned its back on religion. [Author]

Note: 301. Al-mar'ah bayna al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 178.

The famous English writer Anna Ward said: "It is better for our daughters to work as servants in houses or like servants at home. This is better, and less disastrous than letting them work in factories, where a girl become dirty and her life is destroyed. I wish that our country was like the lands of the Muslims, where modesty, chastity and purity are like a garment. Servants and slaves there live the best life, where they are treated like the children of the house and no-one harms their honour. Yes, it is a source of shame for England that we make our daughters examples of promiscuity by mixing so much with men. Why do we not try to pursue that which makes a girl do work that agrees with her natural temperament, by staying at home, and leaving men's work for the men, to keep her honour safe."³⁰²

Note: 302. Al-mar'ah bayna al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 179.

The Western woman envies the Muslim woman, and wishes that she could have some of the rights, honour, protection and stability that the Muslim woman enjoys. There are many proofs of this, some of which have been quoted above (see p 86 of orig.). Another example is the comment of an Italian student of law at Oxford University, after she had heard something of the rights of women in Islam and how Islam gave women all kinds of respect by sparing her the obligation to earn a living so that she may devote herself to caring for her husband and family. This Italian girl said: "I envy the Muslim woman, and wish that I had been born in your country."³⁰³

Note: 303. Al-mar'ah bayna al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 181.

This reality sunk into the minds of the leaders of the women's movement in the Arab world, especially those who were reasonable and fair. Salma al-Haffar al-Kazbari, who visited Europe and America more than once, commented in the Damascus newspaper al-Ayyam (September 3, 1962), in response to Professor Shafiq Jabri's remarks on the misery of the American woman in his book Ard al-sihr (The land of magic):

"The well-travelled scholar noted, for example, that the Americans teach their children from a very early age to love machines and heroism in their games. He also remarked that the women have started to do men's work, in car factories and street-cleaning, and he felt sorry for the misery of the woman who spends her youth and her life doing something that does not suit her feminine nature and attitude. What Professor Jabri has to say made me feel happy, because I came back from my own trip to the United States five years ago, feeling sorry for the plight of women to which they have been drawn by the currents of blind equality. I felt sorry for their struggle to earn a living, for they have even lost their freedom, that absolute freedom for which they strived for so long. Now they have become prisoners of machines and of time. It is too difficult to go back now, and unfortunately it is true that women have lost the dearest and best things granted to them by nature, by which I mean their femininity, and their happiness. Continuous, exhausting work has caused them to lose the small paradise which is the natural refuge of men and women alike. Children cannot grow and flourish without the presence of a woman who stays at home with them. It is in the home and in the bosom of the family that the happiness of society and individuals rests; the family is the source of inspiration, goodness and genius."

Throwing women into the battlefield of work, where they must compete with men to take their place or share their positions, when there is no need to do so and the interests of society as a whole do not require it, is indeed a grave mistake. It is a great loss that nations and peoples suffer from at times of decline, tribulation and error. The Muslim woman who is guided by the Qur'an and Sunnah does not accept to be thrown into that battlefield, and refuses to become some cheap commodity that is fought over by the greedy capitalists, or some gaudy doll whose company is enjoyed by immoral so-called men. She rejects, with fierce pride, that false "progress" that calls for women to come out uncovered, almost naked and adorned with make up, to work alongside men in offices. With this wise, balanced, honourable attitude, she is in fact doing a great service to her society and nation, by calling for an end to this ridiculous competition of women with men in the workplace, and the resulting corruption, neglect of the family, and waste of money. This is the best good deed a woman can do, as was reflected by the comments of the ruler of North Korea to the Women's Union conference held in his country in 1981:

"We make women enter society, but the reason for that is definitely not a lack of workers. Frankly speaking, the burden borne now by the state because of women's going out is greater than any benefits that may result from women's going out to work. . . So why do we want women to go out and be active in society? Because the main aim is to make women become revolutionary, so that they will become part of the working class through their social activity. Our party encourages women to go out and be active in revolutiwomen and making them part of the working class, no matter how great a burden this places on the state."

No doubt the truly-guided Muslim woman knows exactly where she stands when she realises the great difference between the laws of Islam and the laws of jahiliyyah. So she chooses the laws of Allah (SWT), and does not pay any attention to the nonsense calls of jahiliyyah that come from here and there every so often:

( Do they then seek a judgement of [the Days of] Ignorance? But who, for a people whose faith is assured, can give better judgement than Allah?) (Qur'an 5:50)