The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

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She checks her customs and habits against Islamic standards

The Muslim woman who has insight into the rulings of Islam does not accept every tradition and custom that is widely accepted by others, for there may be customs that are derived from ancient or modern jahili traditions which go against Islam. These are unacceptable to the Muslim woman, even if everybody else accepts them unanimously.

The Muslim woman does not decorate her house with statues or pictures (of animate objects), neither does she keep a dog at home, unless it is a guard dog, because the Prophet (PBUH) has forbidden all of that. The sahih hadith on this matter are very emphatic in their prohibition, and there is no room for prevarication or excuses:

Ibn `Umar (RAA) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Those who make these images will be punished on the Day of Resurrection and will be told: `Give life to that which you have created.'"219

Note: 219. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 741, Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab tahrim al-suwar.

`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) returned from a journey, and I had covered a small window with a curtain that had images on it. When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saw it, his face changed colour (with anger) and he said, `O `A'ishah! Those who will be the most severely punished by Allah (SWT) on the Day of Resurrection will be those who imitated the creation of Allah (SWT).' She said: So we cut it up and made one or two pillows from it."220

Note: 220. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 742, Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab tahrim al-suwar.

Ibn `Abbas (RAA) said:

"I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Every maker of images will be in the Fire; every image that he made will be brought to life and will punish him in Hell." Ibn `Abbas said: "So if you must do that, make pictures of trees and inanimate objects."221

Note: 221. Ibid.

Abu Talhah (RAA) said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

"The angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or an image."222

Note: 222. Ibid.

`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said:

"Jibril (PBUH ) promised to come to the Prophet (PBUH) at a certain time. That time came and went, and hedid not come. The Prophet (PBUH) was holding a stick in his hand, which he threw aside, saying, `Allah (SWT) does not break His promise and neither do His Messengers.' Then he turned around and saw a puppy underneath his bed. He said, `When did this dog get in?' I said, `By Allah, I did not even notice it.' He gave orders that it should be taken out, and it was removed. Then Jibril (PBUH ) came to him, and the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, `You promised to come and I was waiting for you, but you did not come.' He said, `The dog that was in your house prevented me. We do not enter a house where there is a dog or an image.'"223

Note: 223. Sahih Muslim, 14/81, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah, bab tahrim taswir al-hayawan.

There are many hadith which prohibit pictures and statues, and the wisdom behind this prohibition is apparent especially nowadays when hypocrites, sycophants and those possessed by greed and ambition encourage tyrants in their oppression. One of their favoured methods is to erect statues to them, both during their lifetimes and after their deaths, thus turning them into gods and demigods seated on thrones of glory, whipping the backs of the oppressed.

Islam brought the doctrine of Tawhid, and destroyed the statues of shirk and jahiliyyah fifteen hundred years ago. It will not permit these graven images to come back into the lives of Muslim men and women, whether it be in the name of commemorating a leader, honouring aartist or glorifying a scientist, poet or writer. The Islamic society is a monotheistic society where glorification, sanctification and veneration are only for Allah (SWT). So there is no room in the Islamic society for these statues and images.

As far as keeping a dog is concerned, there is nothing wrong with that if the dog is kept for hunting or farming purposes, as in the hadith of Ibn `Umar (RAA), who said:

"I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Whoever keeps a dog, unless it is a dog for hunting or herding livestock, his reward will decrease by two qirats every day.'"224

Note: 224. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 744, Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab tahrim ittikhadh al-kalb illa li sayd aw mashiyah.

Keeping dogs in the house after the Western fashion, spoiling them, manufacturing special food and shampoo for them, setting up "beauty parlours" for them and all the other things on which people in the West and the U.S. spend millions upon millions of dollars annually. . . All of this has nothing whatsoever to do with Islam and its tolerant customs. The psychological state of Westerners, and the dry, materialistic life they lead, had driven them to these extremes in caring for their dogs, to compensate for the lack of human love in their social lives. But the social life of Islam is filled with human emotion, so Muslims have no need to go to such absurd extremes.225

Note: 225. See discussion of this deviation on pp. [ch9, love for the sake of Allah]

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam does not eat or drink from vessels of gold or silver, no matter how rich she may be or how luxurious a life she may enjoy, because to do so is haram according to Islam. We find this prohibition in a number of definitive, sahih hadith.

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Whoever drinks from a vessel of silver, it is as if he is throwing Hell-fire into his stomach."226

Note: 226. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 788, Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab tahrim isti'mal ina' al-dhahab wa'l-fuddah.

According to a report given by Muslim, the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Whoever eats or drinks from vessels of gold or silver" - (in another report: whoever drinks from a vessel of gold or silver) - " it is as if he is throwing fire from Hell into his stomach."227

Note: 227. Sahih Muslim, 14/29-30, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah, bab tahrim isti'mal awani al-dhahab wa'l-fuddah.

The alert Muslim woman, no matter where she lives, examines every custom that is followed in her society and measures it against the rulings, values and principles of Islam. Whatever is compatible with Islam, she accepts, but whatever contradicts Islam, she rejects outright, whether it is a custom relating to betrothal and marriage, or in family or social life. What matters is whether the custom is compatible with Islam, not how widely it is spread among people.

She follows Islamic manners in the way she eats and drinks

The alert Muslim woman is distinguished by her keenness to follow Islamic etiquette in the way she eats and drinks. If you were to see her at the table eating food, or if you saw the way she sets the table, you would know her by the Islamic manners that she has adopted in the way she eats, drinks and sets the table.

She does not begin to eat until she has mentioned the name of Allah (SWT), and she eats with her right hand from the food directly in front of her228, according to the teaching of the Prophet (PBUH):

Note: 228. The custom at the time of the Prophet (PBUH) was for all present to eat from one dish or platter; this is still the custom in some Muslim countries [Translator].

"Mention the name of Allah (SWT), eat with your right hand, and eat from what is directly in front of you."229

Note: 229. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 394, Kitab adab al-ta'am, bab al-tasmiyah fi awwalihi al-hamd fi akhirihi.

If she forgets to mention the name of Allah (SWT) at the beginning of her meal, she will rectify that by saying: "Bismillahi awwalahu wa akhirahu (in the name of Allah (SWT) at its beginning and at its end)," as is taught in the hadith narrated by `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her):

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `Whenever any of you eats, let him mention the name of Allah (SWT), may He be glorified. If he forgets to mention the name of Allah (SWT) at the beginning, let him say "Bismillahi awwalahu wa akhirahu."'"230

Note: 230. Reported by Abu Dawud, 3/475, Kitab al-at'imah, bab al-tasmiyah; Tirmidhi, 4/288, Kitab al-at'imah, bab ma ja'a fi'l-tasmiyah 'ala'l-ta'am.

The second issue is eating with the right hand. The Muslim woman who is acting according to Islamic manners eats and drinks with her right hand. The commandment to eat with the right hand, and the prohibition of eating with the left hand, are clearly reported in numerous hadith, for example:

"When any one of you eats, let him eat with his right hand, and if he drinks, let him drink with his right hand, for the Shaytan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand."231

Note: 231. Sahih Muslim, 13/191, Kitab al-ashribah, bab adab al-ta'am wa'l-shirab.

"None of you should eat with his left hand or drink with his left hand, for the Shaytan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand." Nafi` added that the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do not give or take with it (the left hand)."232

Note: 232. Sahih Muslim, 13/192, Kitab al-ashribah, bab adab al-ta'am wa'l-shirab.

If the Prophet (PBUH) saw anyone eating with his left hand, he would tell him to stop, and would teach him the proper manners. If the person arrogantly persisted, he would rebuke him more sternly and pray against him. Salamah ibn al-Akwa`(RAA) said that a man ate with his left hand in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH). He said, "Eat with your right hand." The man said, "I cannot." He said, "May you never be able to use it!" The only thing that stopped him was arrogance, and he never raised his right hand to his mouth after that.233

Note: 233. Ibid.

The Prophet (PBUH) always liked to start things from the right, and he encouraged others to do likewise. Bukhari, Muslim and Malik report from Anas that the Prophet (PBUH) was given some milk that had been mixed with water from the well. There was a Bedouin sitting on his right, and Abu Bakr al-Siddiq was sitting on his left. He drank some of the milk, then he passed it to the Bedouin and said:

"Start on the right and pass to the right."234

Note: 234. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 11/385, Kitab al-ashribah, bab al-bida'ah bi'l-ayman.

On one occasion, he asked a young boy235 seated on his right to give up his turn for some elders, but the boy insisted on taking his turn and obtaining barakah (blessing) from the left-over of the Prophet (PBUH), and the Prophet (PBUH) did not criticize or rebuke him for doing so. Suhayl ibn Sa`d (RAA) described the incident:

Note: 235. This was Ibn 'Abbas [Author].

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was given something to drink, and he drank some of it. There was a young boy on his right, and some old men on his left. He asked the boy, `Will you let me give some to these men?' The boy said, `No, by Allah (SWT), I will not give up my share from you to anyone.' So the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) put it in his hand."236

Note: 236. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 11/386, Kitab al-ashribah, bab al-bida'ah bi'l-ayman.

There are many such reports and texts that definitively show that using the right hand is an important aspect of Islamic manners, which the true Muslim adopts readily and does not try to find excuses. This is what the Sahabah and Tabi`in used to do, without exception. When `Umar ibn al-Khattab (RAA) was the khalifah, he used to patrol the city himself and check up on the people. Once, he saw a man eating with his left hand, so he told him, "O servant of Allah, eat with your right hand." He saw him a second time eating with his left hand, so he hit him with his whip and said, "O servant of Allah, eat with your right hand." He saw him a third time eating with his left h, so he hit him with his whip and said angrily, "O servant of Allah, your right hand!" The man replied, "O Amir al-Mu'minin, it is busy." `Umar said, "What is keeping it busy?" He said, "The day of Mu'tah237." `Umar began to weep, and came to the man apologizing and consoling him. He asked him, "Who helps you make wudu`? Who helps you with what you need?" Then he ordered that the man should be treated fairly and taken care of.

Note: 237. i.e., he lost his hand in the battle of Mu'tah. [Author]

`Umar's concern for this aspect of the conduct of one of the people demonstrates the importance of this apparently minor issue. It is indicative of the Muslim's personality and unique identity. `Umar was very keen to apply this rule to the Muslims, so he did not allow them to take it lightly or ignore it.

I would like to address this to those Muslim ladies who have adopted Western table manners which dictate that the fork should be held in the left hand, and the knife in the right, so that the food is cut with the right hand and placed in the mouth with the left. These people follow this practice without adjusting it, so that they are eating with their left hands, contradictory to the teachings of their religion. They do not bother to move the fork to the right hand and the knife to the left, so that they may eat with their right hand, because they do not want to change this Western "etiquette." This is just one example of the moral defeat from which our ummah is suffering at the hands of m, which we are following slavishly without adjusting or adapting foreign customs to suit our own identity, religion and values. The true Muslim should be the furthest removed from such blind, ignorant imitation.

The true Muslim woman who is proud of her religion and its noble guidance in all aspects of life insists on eating with her right hand and calls on others to do likewise. She is not ashamed to announce it in gatherings where people still adhere slavishly to practices that have come from the West, so that she may explain it to those men and women who are ignorant and careless, and bring them back to their senses. Then they will follow the sunnah and eat and drink with their right hands.

With regard to the third issue, eating from what is nearest to one, this is in accordance with the Islamic manners of eating. The Prophet (PBUH) clearly commanded this, along with mentioning the name of Allah (SWT) and eating with the right hand. It is recorded in numerous hadith, such as the report of `Umar ibn Abi Salamah (RAA), who said:

"I was a young boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). My hand used to wander all over the plate, so the Prophet (PBUH) told me: `O young boy, mention the name of Allah (SWT), eat with your right hand, and eat from what is directly in front of you.'"238

Note: 238. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 399, Kitab adab al-ta'am, bab al-akl mima yalih. [?]

When the Muslim woman eats with her hand, she does so in a nice, good-mannered fashion, as the Prophet (PBUH) used to do. He used to eat with just three fingers; he did not plunge his whole hand into the food in a way that would put others off. This was reported by Ka`b ibn Malik:

"I saw the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) eating with three fingers, and when he had finished he would lick them."239

Note: 239. Sahih Muslim, 13/204, Kitab al-ashribah, bab istihbab la'q al-asabi'.

The Prophet (PBUH) commanded people to lick their fingers and clean their plates, as Jabir (RAA) reported that he said:

"You do not know where in the food is the blessing."240

Note: 240. Sahih Muslim, 13/207, Kitab al-ashribah, bab istihbab la'q al-asabi'.

Anas (RAA) said:

"When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) ate, he would lick his three fingers. He said: `If any of you drops a mouthful, let him pick it up, remove the dirt, and eat it, and not leave it for the Shaytan.' He commanded us to clean our plates and said: `You do not know in which part of your food is the blessing.'"241

Note: 241. Ibid.

Besides seeking the blessing in the food, this Prophetic teaching also encourages Muslims to clean their hands and their plates. Cleaning them of whatever food is left befits the person who is clean and well mannered, and is indicative of his or her sensitivity and good taste. The West has now adopted this good practice which was commanded by the Prophet (PBUH) fifteen hundred years ago: nowadays the Europeans clear their plates and do not leave anything.

Of course, the sensitive, well-mannered Muslim woman does not eat noisily, making disgusting sounds, nor does she take large mouthfuls such as would cause her to make a revolting spectacle of herself.

When she has finished eating, she praises Allah (SWT) as the Prophet (PBUH) taught us to do, thanking Allah (SWT) for His blessing and seeking the reward of those who give praise and thanks.

Abu Umamah (RAA) said that when the Prophet (PBUH) finished his meal, he would say:

"Al-hamdu lillahi kathiran tayyiban mubarakan fihi, ghayra makfiyyin wa la muwadda`in wa la mustaghnan `anhu, rabbana (Praise be to Allah, much good and blessed praise. O our Lord, we cannot compensate Your favour, nor leave it nor dispense with it)."242

Note: 242. Fath al-Bari, 9/580, Kitab al-at'imah, bab ma yaqul idha faragha min ta'amihi.

Mu`adh ibn Anas (RAA) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `Whoever eats a meal then says Al-hamdu lillahi alladhi at`amani hadha wa razaqanihi min ghayri hawlin minni wa la quwwatin (Praise be to Allah (SWT) Who fed me and bestowed this provision upon me with no power or ability on my part)', will be forgiven for the sins committed prior to it."243

Note: 243. Reported by Abu Dawud, 4/63, Kitab al-libas, chapter 1; and Tirmidhi , 5/508, Kitab al-da'wat, 56. He said it is a hasan hadith.

The well-mannered Muslim woman does not criticize food, no matter what it is, following the teaching and example of the Prophet (PBUH). Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) never criticized food. If he liked it, he ate it, and if he did not like it, he left it."244

Note: 244. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 11/290, Kitab al-at'imah, bab la yu'ib al-ta'am.

The Muslim woman's manners with regard to drinking are also derived from the teachings of Islam, which impart good manners to man in every aspect of life.

After mentioning the name of Allah (SWT), she drinks in two or three draughts. She does not breathe into the cup, nor does she drink from the mouth of the jug or bottle if she can help it. She should not breathe into her drink, and she should drink sitting down if she can.

Drinking in two or three draughts is what the Prophet (PBUH) used to do, as Anas (RAA) reported:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to breathe three times245 when drinking."246

Note: 245. i.e., he would pause and take a breath outside the cup. [Author]

Note: 246. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 406, Kitab adab al-ta'am, bab fi adab al-shirab.

The Prophet (PBUH) discouraged drinking in one draught:

"Do not drink in one draught like camels do; drink in two or three. Mention the name of Allah (SWT) when you drink, and give praise to Him when you finish drinking."247

Note: 247. Reported by Tirmidhi, 4/302, Kitab al-ashribah, 13. He said it is a hasan hadith.

The Prophet (PBUH) forbade blowing into one's drink, as is mentioned in the hadith of Abu Sa`id al-Khudri:

"A man said, `I see some dirt in it.' The Prophet (PBUH) said, `Then pour it out.' He said, `One draught is not enough for me.' The Prophet (PBUH) said, `Take the cup away from your mouth, then take a breath.'"248

Note: 248. Reported by Tirmidhi, 4/304, Kitab al-ashribah, 15. He sit is a hasan sahih hadith

The hadith on the manners of drinking make it clear that it is better for the well-mannered Muslim woman to avoid drinking from the mouth of the bottle or jug if she can, and to drink sitting down if possible. This is preferable, but drinking from the mouth of the jug or while standing are permitted, because the Prophet (PBUH) did so on occasion.

Spreading the greeting of Islam

One of the distinctive aspects of the Muslim woman's social conduct is her insistence on the greeting of Islam, which she gives to every Muslim man and woman she meets, in accordance with the rules of giving salam outlined by Islam, which command us to spread salam in a number of ayat and hadith.

In Islam, greeting with salam is a clearly defined etiquette which has been commanded by Almighty Allah (SWT) in His Book, and rules and regulations concerning this greeting have been set out in numerous hadith to which the scholars of hadith devoted entire chapters called kitab al-salam or bab al-salam.

Allah (SWT) commanded the Muslims to greet one another with salam in clear, definitive terms in the Qur'an:

( O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and saluted those in them . . .) (Qur'an 24:27)

Allah (SWT) commanded the Muslims to return the greeting with something similar or something better, hence it is an obligation on the one who hears a greeting to return it, and not to ignore it:

( When a [courteous] greeting is offyou, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or [at least] of equal courtesy . . .) (Qur'an 4:86)

The Prophet (PBUH) strongly encouraged the Muslims to spread salam and to greet those they know and those they do not know. `Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn al-`As (RAA) said:

"A man asked the Prophet (PBUH), `Which type of Islam is the best?' He said, `To feed people, and to say salam to those you know and those you do not know.'"249

Note: 249. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 12/260, Kitab al-isti'dhan, bab fadl al-salam.

Greeting with salam is one of the seven things which the Prophet (PBUH) commanded his Companions, and the Muslim ummah after them, to adhere to. They were listed by al-Bara' ibn `Azib (RAA):

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) commanded us to do seven things: to visit the sick, to attend funerals, to bless someone when he sneezes, to support the weak, to help the one who is oppressed, to spread salam, and to help people fulfil their oaths."250

Note: 250. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 437, Kitab al-salam, bab fadl al-salam; this wording is taken from a report narrated by Bukhari.

The Prophet (PBUH) placed great emphasis on salam and encouraged Muslims to use this greeting in many hadith, because he understood its effects in spreading brotherly love and strengthening the ties of love, closeness and friendship between individuals and groups. He described it as something which would lead to love, and love would lead to faith, and faith would lead to Paradise:

"By the One in Whose hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something which if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salam amongst yourselves."251

Note: 251. Sahih Muslim, 2/35, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan annahu la yadkhul al-jannah illa al-mu'minun.

He (PBUH) also said that the one who initiated the greeting would be closer to Allah (SWT) and more deserving of His pleasure, favour and blessing:

"The closest of the people to Allah (SWT) is the one who starts the greeting of salam."252

Note: 252. Reported with a jayyid isnad by Abu Dawud, 5/380, Kitab al-adab, bab fi fadl man bada'a al-salam.

`Abdullah ibn `Umar (RAA) used to go to the market in the morning, and he did not pass by anybody without saying salam to him. One day he was asked, "What do you do in the market, when you do not sell anything, or ask about prices, or haggle, or join any gatherings?" He said, "We go there in the morning for the purpose of saying salam to whoever we meet."253

Note: 253. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/465, Bab man kharaja yusallim wa yusallam 'alayhi.

In Islam, greeting with salam is not considered to be the matter of a social custom defined by men, that may be changed and adapted according to time and circumstances. Greeting with salam is a clearly-defined etiquette which has been commanded by Almighty Allah (SWT) in His Book, and rules and regulations concerning this greeting have been set out, as described above.

There is only one form of the greeting, to which Muslim men and women who are aware of Islamic manners and are keen to apply Islamic teachings adhere. It is: "al-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu (peace be upon you, and the mercy and blessings of Allah (SWT))." The man or woman who is initiating the greeting says it like this - in the plural form - even if he or she is greeting only one person. The man or woman thus addressed responds: "wa`alaykum al-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu."254

Note: 254. The greeting should always be spoken in Arabic, regardless of whatever one's native tongue is or whatever language is being spoken at any given time. [Translator]

The Muslim woman who is keen to be distinguished by her Islamic identity adheres to this blessed form of greeting, which is the original greeting of Islam, and does not substitute any other kind of greeting.

This correct Islamic greeting should not be replaced by other greetings, such as the old-fashioned Arabic greeting "`im sabahan," or modern greetings such as "sabah al-khayr," "good morning," or "bonjour" (in Arabic, English and French, respectively), and other usages which are spreading in the Muslim societies that have deviated from the guidance of Islam.

This Islamic greeting is the greeting which Allah (SWT) chose for His creation from the time of Adam, to whom He taught it and commanded him to greet the angels with it. He wanted Adam's descendants in all times and places to use this greeting, because of its meaning of peace which is something most beloved by man regardless of where or when he lives. This divinely-ordained greeting is preserved nowhere except in the ummah of Islam which has adhered to the true way and has not changed it or deviated from it. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"When Allah (SWT) created Adam (PBUH ), He told him, `Go and greet those' - a group of angels who were sitting - `and listen to how they greet you, for it will be your greeting and that of your descendants. So he said: `al-salamu `alaykum,' and they responded, `wa `alayka al-salamu wa rahmatullah.' They added `wa rahmatullah.'"255

Note: 255. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 437, Kitab al-salam, bab fi fadl al-salam.

No wonder this form is such a blessed greeting, for it comes from Allah (SWT), Who commanded us to adopt it as our greeting and never to replace it with anything else:

( . . . But if you enter houses, salute each other - a greeting or blessing and purity as from Allah . . . ) (Qur'an 24:61)

Therefore Jibril (PBUH ) used this form of the greeting when he she used the same form in returning the greeting. This is reported in the hadith from `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her):

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) told me: `This is Jibril who is saying salam to you.' She said, I said: `Wa `alayhi al-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu (and upon him be peace and the mercy and blessings of Allah (SWT).)'"256

Note: 256. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 439, Kitab al-salam, bab kayfiyyah al-salam.

There are also rules concerning the greeting of salam, which the true Muslim tries to adhere to and apply properly in his or her own social life. These rules are summed up in the hadith reported by Bukhari and others from Abu Hurayrah (RAA):

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `The one who is riding should say salam to the one who is walking, the one who is walking to the one who is sitting, and the smaller group to the larger group.'"257 A report narrated by Bukhari adds the words "And the young to the old."258

Note: 257. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 440, Kitab al-salam, bab fi adab al-salam.

Note: 258. Reported by Bukhari. See Riyad al-Salihin, 44, Kitab al-salam, bab fi adab al-salam.

The greeting is given to men and women alike, as Asma' bint Yazid (May Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) passed by the mosque one day when a group of women were sitting there and he waved his hand to them in greeting.259

Note: 259. Reported by Tirmidhi, 5/58, in Kitab al-isti'dhan, bab ma ja'a fi'l-taslim 'ala'l-nisa'. He said it is a hasan hadith.

The greeting is also to be given to children, to acquaint them with the manners of greeting and giving salam. It is reported that Anas (RAA) passed by some children and greeted them with salam, then said, "The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to do that."260

Note: 260. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 442, Kitab al-salam, bab al-salam 'ala'l-subyan.

When the greeting is given at night, it should be spoken softly and in a quiet voice, so that those who are awake might hear it without disturbing those who are asleep. This is what the Prophet (PBUH) used to do, according to the lengthy hadith of al-Miqdad (RAA) in which he says:

"We used to put aside the Prophet's share of the milk and he would come at night and greet us in such a way as not to wake those who were asleep, but those who were awake would hear it. So the Prophet (PBUH) came and greeted us as he usually did . . ."261

Note: 261. Sahih Muslim, 14/14, Kitab al-ashribah, bab ikram al-dayf. See also Riyad al-Salihin, 439.

Salam should be given when joining a gathering and when leaving it. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"When any one of you comes to a gathering, let him say salam, and when he wants to leave, let him say salam. The former is not more important than the latter."262

Note: 262. Reported by Abu Dawud, 5/386, Kitab al-adab, bab fi'l-salam; Tirmidhi, 5/62, Kitab al-isti'dhan, 15. Tirmidhi said it is a hasan hadith.

The Muslim woman who is distinguished by her true Islamic manners understands the sublime teachings of the Prophet (PBUH) concerning the greeting of salam and its etiquette. She follows this etiquette precisely in her private and social life, and encourages others to do likewise.

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