She tries to make people happy - The Ideal Muslimah

The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

She tries to make people happy

The Muslim woman is keen, in her conversations with other women, to bring happiness to them and make them feel cheerful and lively by means of the good news and pleasant jokes that she tells them. Making people happy, within the framework of that which is permitted, is an Islamic duty that is strongly encouraged, so that the environment of the believers, men and women, may be filled with friendliness, happiness and joy, ready to undertake serious work and the sacrifices and difficulties that it entails.

For this reason Islam tells us that the reward of one who makes Muslims happy will be the greater happiness that Allah (SWT) will bestow upon him on the Day of Resurrection:

"Whoever meets his Muslim brother and makes him happy with something that Allah (SWT) likes, Allah (SWT) will make him happy on the Day of Resurrection."¹⁷⁵

Note: 175. Reported with a hasan isnad by al-Tabarani in al-Saghir. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/193, Bab fadl qada' al-hawa'ij.

The clever Muslim woman will find different ways to make her sisters happy in ways that are permitted - a warm greeting, a kind word, a clever comment, a pleasant joke, good news, a friendly smile, a sincerely-meant visit, a charming gift, always keeping in touch, sincere help, comforting consolation - which will open their hearts, sow the seeds of love and strengthen the ties of friendship and sisterhood.

She is not over-strict

Another of the qualities of the true Muslim woman is that she is not over-strict, and does not go to extremes with regard to matters that Islam has permitted on certain occasions, such as the singing that is permitted on Eid and at weddings, or watching some entertaining games or sports, so long as they are not accompanied by any form of corruption that may lead to fitnah.

Although she may accept to watch or join in entertainment on certain occasions, she does not make this her main concern in life. She follows the teachings of Islam which permit fun and entertainment on occasion, as is reported in a number of sahih hadith.

In Sahih Bukhari, `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) is reported to have arranged a marriage for a woman who was an orphan under her care, to a man of the Ansar. The Prophet (PBUH) asked her: "O `A'ishah, what sort of fun and entertainment do you have? For the Ansar love fun and entertainment."¹⁷⁶

Note: 176. Fath al-Bari, 9/225, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-niswah allati yahdina al-mar'ah ila zawjiha.

Imam Bukhari also narrates from `A'ishah:

"The Prophet (PBUH) entered upon me when there were two young girls singing the songs of Bu`ath¹⁷⁷. He lay down on his bed and turned his face away. Then Abu Bakr entered, and told me off, saying: `Musical instruments of Shaytan in the house of the Prophet (PBUH)!' The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) turned to him and said: `Let them be.' When he was no longer paying attention, I signalled to them, and they left."¹⁷⁸

Note: 177. Bu'ath: a place in the environs of Madinah where war took place between the Aws and Khazraj before Islam. It was knas the battle of Bu'ath, and poets composed many verses about it. [Author]

Note: 178. Fath al-Bari, 2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.

According to another report, also narrated by Bukhari, the Prophet (PBUH) said: "O Abu Bakr, every nation has a day of celebration, and this is our day of celebration."¹⁷⁹

Note: 179. Fath al-Bari, 2/445, Kitab al-'idayn, bab sunnah al-'idayn li ahl al-Islam.

Another report narrated by Bukhari from `A'ishah says:

"It was the day of Eid, and the black people were playing with shields and spears. Either I asked the Prophet (PBUH), or he said to me: `Would you like to watch?' I said, `Yes.' So he let me stand behind him, his cheek against my cheek, and he was saying, `Carry on, O Banu Arfidah¹⁸⁰!' When I got tired, he asked me, `Have you had enough?' I said, `Yes.' He said, `Then go.'"¹⁸¹

Note: 180. Banu Arfidah: a nickname given to Abyssinians. [Author]

Note: 181. Fath al-Bari, 2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.

Ibn Hijr reported a number of versions of this hadith from `A'ishah, such as that recorded by al-Zuhri:

". . . Until I ['A'ishah] was the one who had had enough."¹⁸²

Note: 182. Fath al-Bari, 2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.

Muslim also narrates from al-Zuhri:

"Then he stayed standing there for my sake until I was the one who decided to leave."¹⁸³

Note: 183. Fath al-Bari, 2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.

Al-Nisa'i reports from Yazid ibn Marwan:

"The Prophet (PBUH) said: `Have you had enough? Have you had enough?' She said, `I decided to say No, just to see how where I stood with him (i.e. how much he loved me).'"¹⁸⁴

Note: 184. Fath al-Bari, 2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.

Al-Nisa'i reports from Abu Salamah from `A'ishah:

"I said, `O Messenger of Allah, do not rush.' So he remained standing for my sake, then said, `Have you had enough?' I said, `Do not rush.' . . . It was not that I wanted to watch them, but I wanted all the women to know how I stood with him."

In the chapter on marriage, there is a report narrated by al-Zuhri which adds:

"You should understand that young girls like to have fun."¹⁸⁵

Note: 185. See the reports given in Fath al-Bari, 2/444.

In Fath al-Bari¹⁸⁶ al-Siraj reports via Abu'l-Zinad from `Urwah from `A'ishah that the Prophet (PBUH) said on that day:

Note: 186. Fath al-Bari, 2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.

"Let the Jews know that in our religion there is room for entertainment, and I have been sent with a tolerant, pure religion."

Tirmidhi reports in his Sunan that `A'ishah said:

"The Prophet (PBUH) was sitting, and we heard some noise and children's voices outside. The Prophet (PBUH) stood up, and saw an Abyssinian woman dancing, with children around her. He said, `O `A'ishah, come and see!' So I came, and put my chin on his shoulder, looking through the gap between his head and his shoulder. He asked me, `Have you had enough?' and I decided to say No, just to see where I stood with him. Suddenly `Umar appeared, and the people scattered. The Prophet (PBUH) said: `I can see that the devils among jinn and mankind flee from `Umar!' [`A'ishah] said: then I went back."¹⁸⁷.

Note: 187. Reported by Tirmidhi in Manaqib 'Umar. He said: it is a hasan sahih gharib hadith; this version is gharib. See 621, Kitab al-manaqib, 18.

These and similar texts, as understood in the books of hadith, are clear evidence of the Prophet's kind and gentle treatment of his wife, and his eagerness to make her happy. They are also proof of the tolerance and ease of Islam, and its concern that women should be allowed to enjoy the kinds of fun and entertainment that it has permitted, unlike some of those overstrict people nowadays who regard such fun as a serious crime for which women should be severely punished by being imprisoned (in the home).

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam should be very serious in her attitude, concentrating on noble aims and shunning frivolities. But this should not stop her from having fun occasionally, in ways that are permitted by Islam, which leaves room for such entertainment. The wise Lawgiver understands the nature of people and their inclination to relax and have fun from time to time, so that they can then return refreshed to their serious pursuits, with renewed vigour, stronger determination, and more prepared to shoulder the burdens of their responsibilities. This is the balanced, integrated, wise approach that Islam brings.

She is not arrogant or proud

The true Muslim woman is not arrogant or proud; she does not look down her nose at other women who may be inferior to her in terms of beauty, wealth, lineage or status, because the Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam knows that arrogance and pride in this world will deny a woman the blessings of the Hereafter, which Allah (SWT) will deny to men and women who are arrogant. These blessings are only for those who shun arrogance and pride in world:

( That House of the Hereafter We shall give to those who intend not high-handedness or mischief on earth: and the End is [best] for the righteous.) (Qur'an 28:83)

She also knows that Allah (SWT) does not love those who arrogantly boast:

( And swell not your cheek [for pride] at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth: for Allah loves not any arrogant boaster.) (Qur'an 31:18)

Whoever examines the hadith texts will be astonished at the attention given by the Prophet (PBUH) to eradicating arrogance from people's hearts by forbidding it, deterring it and warning those men and women who were afflicted with it that they stand to lose everything in the Hereafter for the sake of an atom's-weight of pride that the Shaytan has placed in their hearts. Such people are among the arrogant ones to whom Allah (SWT) has denied entry to Paradise, as is stated in the hadith narrated by Muslim:

"No one will enter Paradise who has an atom's-weight of pride in his heart." A man asked, "What if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?" He said, "Allah (SWT) is Beautiful and loves beauty (i.e. wanting to loogood is not pride or arrogance). Pride is denying the truth and despising people."¹⁸⁸

Note: 188. Sahih Muslim, 2/89, Kitab al-iman, bab tahrim al-kibr.

Harithah ibn Wahb (RAA) said:

"I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Shall I not tell you about the people of Hell? Everyone who is harsh, proud, disdainful and arrogant."¹⁸⁹

Note: 189. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 334, Bab tahrim al-kibr wa'l-i'jab.

It is enough for those arrogant, proud women who boast to their friends to know of the moral humiliation that Allah (SWT) has prepared for them in the Hereafter: Allah (SWT) will not even look at them or speak to them or praise them, and this will be the ultimate humiliation.

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"On the Day of Resurrection, Allah (SWT) will not look at those who let their garments trail on the ground out of arrogance."¹⁹⁰

Note: 190. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 12/9, Kitab al-libas, bab taqsir al-thiyab.

"There are three whom Allah (SWT) will not speak to, or praise, or look at on the Day of Judgement, and they will have a severe punishment: an old man who commits adultery, a king who tells lies, and a poor man who is arrogant."¹⁹¹

Note: 191. Sahih Muslim, 2/115, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan al-thalatha alladhina la yukallimuhum Allah yawm al-qiyamah.

Pride is one of the divine attributes and weak human creatures have no right to it. Those who are arrogant and proud transgress into the realm of the divine, vying with the Almighty Creator for one of His sublime attributes, so they deserve the severe punishment to which the Prophet (PBUH) referred:

"Allah (SWT) says: `Might is My cloak and pride is My garment. Whoever vies with Me for either of them, I will punish him.'"¹⁹²

Note: 192. Sahih Muslim, 16/173, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-kibr; also narrated by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/9, Bab al-kibr.

Many hadith warn the believers against being tempted by pride at moments of human weakness. The Prophet (PBUH) used various methods to warn them so that the pious believers would be protected from the awful disease of arrogance. For example:

"Whoever thinks highly of himself, or walks with an arrogant attitude, will meet Allah (SWT) when He is angry with him."¹⁹³

Note: 193. Narrated by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/7, Bab al-kibr.