The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

Previous Next

She does not oppress or mistreat others

To the extent that the Muslim woman is keen to adhere to justice in all her words and deeds, she also avoids oppression (zulm), for oppression is darkness in which male and female oppressors will become lost, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained:

"Keep away from oppression, for oppression is darkness on the Day of Resurrection."49

Note: 49. Sahih Muslim, 16/143, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-zulm.

The following hadith qudsi definitively and eloquently expresses Allah's (SWT) prohibition of oppression in a way that leaves no room for prevarication:

"O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another."50

Note: 50. Sahih Muslim, 16/132, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-zulm.

If Allah (SWT), the Creator, the Sovereign, the Most Holy, the Exalted in Might, the Omnipotent, the Almighty, may He be glorified, has forbidden oppression for Himself, and forbidden it for His servants, does it then befit His weak, mortal servant to commit the sin of oppression against his human brother?

The Prophet (PBUH) forbade Muslim men and women to commit the sin of oppression against their brothers and sisters in faith, no matter what the motives, reasons or circumstances might be. It is unimaginable that a Muslim who is adhering to the strong bonds of brotherhood could commit such a sin:

"A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim: he does not oppress him or forsake him when he is oppressed. Whoever helps his brother, Allah (SWT) will help him; whoever relieves his brother from some distress, Allah (SWT) will relieve him of some of his distress on the Day of Resurrection; whoever covers (the fault of) a Muslim, Allah (SWT) will cover his faults on the Day of Resurrection."51

Note: 51. Fath al-Bari, 5/97, Kitab al-muzalim, bab la yazlum al-Muslimu al-Muslima wa la yuslimuhu.

The Prophet (PBUH) did not stop at forbidding oppression against another Muslim, man or woman; he also forbade Muslims to forsake a brother in faith who was being oppressed, because this act of forsaking an oppressed brother is in itself a terrible form of oppression. He encouraged Muslims to take care of their brothers' needs and to ease their suffering and conceal their faults, as if indicating that the neglect of these virtues constitutes oppression, failure and injustice with regard to the ties of brotherhood that bind the Muslim and his brother.

We have quoted above the texts that enjoin absolute justice which cannot be influenced by love, hatred, bias or ties of blood, and other texts that forbid absolute injustice. This means that justice is to be applied to all people, and that injustice to any people is to be avoided, even if the people concerned are not Muslim. Allah (SWT) commands justice and good treatment of all, and forbids oppression and wrong-doing to all:

( Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for [your] Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: For Allah loves those who are just.) (Qur'an 60:8)

She is fair even to those whom she does not like

Life sometimes imposes on a Muslim woman the burden of having to live or mix with women whom she does not like, such as living in the same house with one of her in-laws or other women with whom she has nothing in common and does not get along well. This is something which happens in many homes, a fact which cannot be denied, for souls are like conscripted soldiers: if they recognize one another, they will become friends, and if they dislike one another, they will go their separate ways, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained in the hadith whose authenticity is agreed upon. How should the Muslim woman who has received a sound Islamic education conduct herself in such a situation? Should she be negative in her dealings, judgements and reactions, or should she be gentle, tactful, fair and wise, even with those whom she does not like?

The answer is that the Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islam should be fair, wise, gentle and tactful. She should not expose her true feelings towards those she dislikes, or expose her cold feelings towards them in the way she behaves towards them and reacts to them. She should greet such women warmly, treat them gently and speak softly to them. This is the attitude adopted by the Prophet (PBUH) and his Companions. Abu'l-Darda' (RAA) said:

"We smile at people even if in our hearts we are cursing them."52

Note: 52. Fath al-Bari, 10/527, Kitab al-adab, bab al-madarah ma'a al-nas.

`Urwah ibn al-Zubayr reported that `A'ishah told him:

"A man sought permission to enter upon the Prophet (PBUH), and he said, `Let him in, what a bad son of his tribe (or bad brother of his tribe) he is!' When the man came in, the Prophet (PBUH) spoke to him kindly and gently. I said: `O Messenger of Allah, you said what you said, then you spoke to him kindly.' He said, `O `A'ishah, the worst of the people in the sight of Allah (SWT) is the one who is shunned by others or whom people treat nicely because they fear his sharp tongue.'"53

Note: 53. Fath al-Bari, 10/528, Kitab al-adab, bab al-madarah ma'a al-nas.

Being companionable, friendly and kind towards people are among the attributes of believing men and women. Being humble, speaking gently and avoiding harshness are approaches that make people like one another and draw closer to one another, as enjoined by Islam, which encourages Muslims to adopt these attitudes in their dealings with others.

The true Muslim woman is not swayed by her emotions when it comes to love and hate. She is moderate, objective, fair and realistic in her treatment and opinions of those woman whom she does not like, and allows herself to be governed by her reason, religion, chivalry and good attitude. She does not bear witness except to the truth, and she does not judge except with justice, following the example of the Mothers of the Believers, who were the epitome of fairness, justice and taqwa in their opinions of one another.

`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) was the closest of his wives to the Prophet's heart, and her main rival in this regard was Zaynab bint Jahsh. It was natural for there to be jealousy between them, but this jealousy did not prevent either of them from saying what was true about the other and acknowledging her qualities without undermining them.

In Sahih Muslim, `A'ishah says of Zaynab:

"She was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). I have never seen a woman better in piety than Zaynab, or more fearing of Allah (SWT), or more true in speech, or more faithful in upholding the ties of kinship, or more generous in giving charity, or humble enough to work with her hand s in order to earn money that she could spend for the sake of Allah (SWT). However, she was hot-tempered and quick to anger, but she would soon cool down and then take the matter no further."54

Note: 54. Sahih Muslim, 15/206, Kitab fada'il al-Sahabah, bab fada'il Umm al-Mu'minin 'A'ishah.

In Sahih Bukhari, in the context of her telling of the slander incident (al-ifk) concerning which Allah (SWT) Himself confirmed her total innocence, `A'ishah referred to Zaynab's testimony concerning her:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked Zaynab bint Jahsh concerning me, saying: `O Zaynab, what did you see? What have you learnt?' She said, `O Messenger of Allah, I protect my hearing and my sight (by refraining from telling lies). I know nothing but good about her.'" Then `A'ishah said: "She is the one who was my main rival, but Allah (SWT) protected her (from telling lies) because of her piety."55

Note: 55. Fath al-Bari, 8/455, Kitab al-tafsir, bab law la idh sami'timuhu zann al-mu'minina wa'l-mu'minat bi anfusihim khayran [al-Nur 24:12]

Anyone who reads the books of sirah and the biographies of the Sahabah will find many reports of the wives of the Prophets which describe fairness and mutual praise among co-wives.

Among these is Umm Salamah's comment about Zaynab: "Zaynab was very dear to the Prophet (PBUH), and he liked to spend time with her. She was righteous, and frequently stood in prayer at night and fasted during the day. She was skilled (in handicrafts) and used to give everything that she earned in charity to the poor."

When Zaynab died, `A'ishah said: "She has departed praiseworthy and worshipping much, the refuge of the orphans anwidows."56

Note: 56. Al-Samt al-Thamin, 110; al-Isti'ab, 4/1851; al-Isabah, 8/93.

When Maymunah died, `A'ishah said: "By Allah (SWT), Maymunah has gone. . . But by Allah (SWT) she was one of the most pious of us and one of those who was most faithful in upholding the ties of kinship."57

Note: 57. Al-Isabah, 8/192.

The wives of the Prophet (PBUH) displayed this attitude of fairness and justice towards co-wives in spite of the jealousy, competition and sensitivity that existed between them. We can only imagine how great and noble their attitude towards other women was. By their behaviour and attitude, they set the highest example for Muslim woman of human co-existence that absorbs all hatred by increasing the power of reason and controls the strength of jealousy - if it is present - by strengthening the feelings of fairness, good treatment and a sense of being above such negative attitudes. Thus the Muslim woman becomes fair towards those women whom she does not like, regardless of the degree of closeness between them, fair when judging them, and wise, rational and tactful in her treatment of them.

She does not rejoice in the misfortunes of others

The sincere Muslim woman who is truly infused with Islamic attitudes does not rejoice in the misfortunes of anyone, because Schadenfreude (malicious enjoyment of others' misfortunes) is a vile, hurtful attitude that should not exist in the God-fearing woman who understands the teachings of her religion. The Prophet (PBUH) forbade this attitude and warned against it:

"Do not express malicious joy at the misfortune of your brother, for Allah (SWT) will have mercy on him and inflict misfortune on you."58

Note: 58. Reported by Tirmidhi, 4/662, Kitab sifat al-qiyamah, 54. He said it is a hasan sahih hadith.

There is no room for Schadenfreude in the heart of the Muslim woman in whom Islam has instilled good manners. Instead, she feels sorry for those who are faced with trials and difficulties: she hastens to help them and is filled with compassion for their suffering. Schadenfreude belongs only in those sick hearts that are deprived of the guidance of Islam and that are accustomed to plotting revenge and seeking out means of harming others.

Previous Next
 
Privacy  |  About Wister

Copyright © 2024 Wister All rights reserved