She does not interfere in that which does not concern her - The Ideal Muslimah

The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

She is characterized by shyness [haya']

Women are shy by nature, and what I mean here by shyness is the same as the definition of the `ulama': the noble attitude that always motivates a person to keep away from what is abhorrent and to avoid falling short in one's duties towards those who have rights over one. The Prophet (PBUH) was the highest example of shyness, as the great Sahabi Abu Sa`id al-Khudri described him:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was more shy than the virgin hiding away in her own room. If he saw something he disliked, we would know it only from his facial expression."³³

Note: 33. Bukhari and Muslim. See Riyad al-Salihin, 364, Kitab al-adab, bab al-haya' wa fadlulu.

The Prophet (PBUH) praised the attitude of shyness in a number of ahadith, and explained that it is pure goodness, both for the one who possesses this virtue and for the society in which he lives.

`Imran ibn Husayn (RAA) said:

"The Prophet (PBUH) said: `Shyness brings nothing but good.'"³⁴

Note: 34. Bukhari and Muslim. See Riyadh al-Salihin, 363, Kitab al-adab, bab fi'l-haya' wa fadluhu.

According to a report given by Muslim, he (PBUH) said:

"Shyness is all good."³⁵

Note: 35. Sahih Muslim, 2/7, Kitab al-iman, bab al-haya' shu'bah min al-iman.

Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:

"The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Faith has seventy-odd branches. The greatest of them is saying la ilaha ill-Allah, and the least of them is removing something harmful from the road. Shyness is one of the branches of faith."³⁶

Note: 36. Bukhari and Muslim. See Riyad al-Salihin, 363, Kitab al-adab, bab 363.

The true Muslim woman is shy, polite, gentle and sensitive to the feelings of others. She never says or does anything that may harm people or offend their dignity.

The attitude of shyness that is deeply-rooted in her nature is supported by her understanding of the Islamic concepof shyness, which protects her against going wrong or deviating from Islamic teachings in her dealings with others. She does not only feel shy in front of people, but she also feels shy before Allah (SWT). She is careful not to let her faith become by wrongdoing, because shyness is one of the branches of faith. This is the highest level that may be reached by the woman who is characterized by shyness. In this way she is distinguished from the Western woman who has lost the characteristic of shyness.

She is proud and does not beg

One of the features that distinguish the Muslim woman who has truly understood the guidance of Islam is the fact that she is proud and does not beg. If she is faced with difficulties or is afflicted with poverty, she seeks refuge in patience and self-pride, whilst redoubling her efforts to find a way out of the crisis of poverty that has befallen her. It never occurs to her to put herself in the position of begging and asking for help, because Islam thinks too highly of the true Muslim woman to allow her to put herself in such a position. The Muslim woman is urged to be proud, independent and patient - then Allah (SWT) will help her and give her independence and patience:

"Whoever refrains from asking from people, Allah (SWT) will help him. Whoever tries to be independent, Allah (SWT) will enrich him. Whoever tries to be patient, Allah (SWT) will give him patience, and no-one is given a better or vaster gift than patience."³⁷

Note: 37. Bukhari and Muslim. See Riyad al-Salihin, 35, Bab al-sabr.

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam knows that Islam has given the poor some rights over the wealth of the rich, who should give freely without reminders or insults. But at the same time, Islam wants the poor to be independent and not to rely on this right. The higher hand is better than the lower hand, so all Muslims, men and women, should always work so that their hand will not be the lower one. That is more befitting and more honouring to them. So those men and women who have little should increase their efforts and not be dependent on charity and hand-outs. This will save them from losing face. Whenever he spoke from the minbar about charity and refraining from begging, the Prophet (PBUH) would remind the Muslims that "the higher hand is better than the lower, the higher hand is the one that spends, whilst the lower hand is the one that begs."³⁸

Note: 38. Sahih Muslim, 7/124, Kitab al-zakat, bab bayan an al-yad al-'uliya khayr min al-yad al-sufla.

She does not interfere in that which does not concern her

The true Muslim woman is wise and discerning; she does not interfere in that which does not concern her, nor does she concern herself with the private lives of the women around her. She does not stick her nose into their affairs or force herself on them in any way, because this could result in sin or blame on her part. By seeking to avoid interfering in that which does not concern her, she protects herself from vain and idle talk, as she is adhering to a sound Islamic principle that raises the Muslim above such foolishness, furnishes him with the best of attitudes, and guides him towards the best way of dealing with others:

"A sign of a person's being a good Muslim is that he should leave alone that which does not concern him."³⁹

Note: 39. Reported by Tirmidhi, 3/382, Abwab al-zuhd, 8; Ibn Majah, 2/1316, Kitab al-fitan, bab kaff al-lisan 'an al-fitnah.

Abu Hurayrah (RAA) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Allah (SWT) likes three things for you and dislikes three things. He likes for you to worship Him, not to associate anything with Him, and to hold fast, all together, by the Rope which He (stretches out for you), and not to be divided among yourselves [cf. Al `Imran 3:103]. And He dislikes for you to pass on stories and gossip, to ask too many questions, and to waste money."⁴⁰

Note: 40. Sahih Muslim, 12/10, Kitab al-aqdiyah, bab al-nahi 'an kathrah al-masa'il min ghayri hajah.

The divinely-guided society which has been formed by Islam has no room for passing on stories and gossip, asking too many questions, or interfering in the private affairs of others, because the members of such a society are too busy with something much more important, which is the establishing of the word of Allah (SWT) on earth, taking the banner of Islam to the four corners of the earth, and spreading its values among mankind. Those who are engaged in such great missions do not have the time to indulge in such sins.