The Muslim Woman And Her Neighbours

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The bad neighbour is a person whose good deeds are not accepted

The bad neighbour is a person who has lost her faith, as stated in the hadith quoted above; she is also a person whose good deeds are all cancelled, so that from now on no act of obedience or righteousness will be of any benefit to her, so long as she persists in her mistreatment of her neighbour. Good deeds are essentially based on faith in Allah (SWT), and faith in Allah (SWT) is not the matter of mere words: what counts is the practical implementation of that which Allah (SWT) requires of His servants. If a bad neighbour has lost her faith by persisting in her mistreatment of her neighbour, then there is no hope that Allah (SWT) will accept her good deeds, no matter how great or how many they may be. They will be utterly wiped out, even if she spends her nights and days performing good deeds.

The Prophet (PBUH) was asked: "O Messenger of Allah, such-and-such a woman spends her nights in prayer, fasts during the day, and so on, and she gives in charity, but she offends her neighbours with her sharp tongue." The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Her good deeds will be of no avail: she is among the people of Hell." They said, "And so-and-so prays only the obligatory prayers, gives charity in the form of left-over curds, but does not offend anyone." The Prophet (PBUH) said: "She is among the people of Paradise."20

Note: 20. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/210, Bab la yu'dhi jarahu.

The Prophet (PBUH) described the bad neighbour as being one of the worst types of people:

"There are three worst types of people: a ruler who, if you do well, does not appreciate it, and if do wrong, he does not forgive you for it; a bad neighbour who, if he sees something good, he conceals it, and if he sees something bad he broadcasts it; and a wife who, when you are present she annoys you and if you go away, she betrays you."21

Note: 21. Reported by al-Tabarani in al-Kabir, 18/267; its narrators are thiqat.

The Hadith paint such an ugly picture of the bad neighbour that the true Muslim woman would be so shaken that she will avoid committing the sin of mistreating a neighbour and it will be most unlikely that she will let any dispute or hostility arise between her and her neighbour, or become involved in schemes and plots. The Prophet's warning against harming or arguing with neighbours is always echoing in her ears, and she never forgets it any time she feels the stirrings of anger or hostility towards a neighbour:

"The first two disputing parties to appear before Allah (SWT) on the Day of Judgement will be two neighbours."22

Note: 22. Reported with a hasan isnad by Ahmad and al-Tabarani. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/170.

Her good treatment of her neighbour is not lacking

Not only does the Muslim woman refrain from harming or disturbing her neighbour, she also does not spare any effort to help her neighbour, opening wide the doors of care, friendship and generosity. She is careful not to fall short in her duties whenever she is called upon to take care of her neighbours, and to honour them and treat them well, lest the words of the Prophet (PBUH) concerning the miserly, unhelpful neighbour become applicable to her:

"How many people will be hanging on to their neighbours on the Day of Judgement, saying: `O my Lord! He shut his door in my face and denied me his kind treatment and help!'"23

Note: 23. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/200, Bab man aghlaqa al-bab 'ala'l-jar.

What a miserable position the miserly, uncaring neighbour will be in on the Day of Judgement!

According to Islam, the Muslim men and women are like a high wall, whose bricks are the people of this ummah. Each brick must be sound, and strongly bonded with the others, to make this wall sturdy and durable, otherwise it will become weak and prone to collapse. Thus Islam surrounds this wall with strong spiritual ties, to preserve its integrity and strength, so that it will not be shaken no matter what events befall it.

The Prophet (PBUH) gave a marvellous metaphor of the solidarity and mutual support among Muslim men and women:

"Believers are like a structure, parts of which support other parts."24

Note: 24. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/47, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab ta'awun al-mu'minin wa tarahumuhum.

"The believers, in their mutual friendship, mercy and affection, are like one body: if any part of it complains, the rest of the body will also stay awake in pain."25

Note: 25. Ibid.

If a religion places such an amazing emphasis on the solidarity of its followers, it is natural that it should strengthen neighbourly ties and base them on a solid foundation of friendship, kindness, mutual support and good treatment.

She puts up with her neighbour's mistakes and bad treatment

The Muslim woman who is guided by her religion is patient with her neighbour and does not get angry or bear a grudge if she makes a mistake or has some shortcomings. She is tolerant and forgiving towards her, thus hoping to earn reward from Allah (SWT) and to attain His love and pleasure. This is proven by the hadith of Abu Dharr: when Mutarrif ibn `Abdullah met him, he said, "O Abu Dharr, I heard about what you said and wanted to meet you." Abu Dharr said, "Your father was a great man! Now you have met me." Mutarrif said: "I heard that you have said that the Prophet (PBUH) said: `Allah (SWT) loves three and hates three.'" Abu Dharr said, "I do not think that I would tell lies about the Messenger of Allah." Mutarrif said, "Then who are the three whom Allah (SWT) loves?" Abu Dharr (quoting the Prophet (PBUH)) said: "`A man who fights for the sake of Allah (SWT), with perseverance and hoping for reward from Him, and fights until he is killed, and you find this in the Book of Allah (SWT).' Then he recited: "Truly Allah loves those who fight in His cause in battle array, as if they were a solid cemented structure." [al-Saff 61:4] Mutarrif asked, "Then who?" He said, "`A man who has a bad neighbour who annoys and disturbs him, but he bears it with patience and forbearance until Allah (SWT) ends the matter either during his lifetime or upon the death of either of them.'"26

Note: 26. Reported with a sahih isnad by Ahmad and al-Tabarani. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/171.

One of the characteristics of the Muslim woman whose soul has truly been cleansed and moulded by Islam is that she patiently bears the annoyances caused by her neighbours, as much as she is able. She repels their bad treatment with something that is better, and by being patient and behaving properly she sets the highest example of good treatment of one's neighbours and removes the roots of evil and hatred from their souls. Even more importantly, she is acting in accordance with the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH):

"Whoever believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let him not harm or annoy his neighbour . . ."27

Note: 27. Fath al-Bari, 10/445, Kitab al-adab, bab man kana yu'min bi-Allah wa'l-yawm al-akhir fala yu'dhi jarahu.

Let them hear this, those women who lose their minds when their child fights with the neighbours' children so that they turn a blind eye to their own child's faults and insult their neighbours with bad language and hurtful accusations, thus destroying the ties of neighbourliness and friendship in a moment of anger. Let them know that they are going against all the Islamic teachings regarding the good treatment of neighbours and that they are showing themselves to be content to be bad neighbours.

Let those women rejoice who are wise, polite and forbearing neighbours, who respond in kind to their neighbours' good treatment, because they are among the righteous neighbours with whose wise and rightly-guided conduct Allah (SWT) is pleased.

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