The Muslim Women and Her Husband

She shares his joys and sorrows

Another of the ways in which a woman may endear herself to her husband is by sharing his joys and sorrows. So she joins him in some of his pastimes, and his daily work, such as reading, exercise, and attending useful talks and gatherings, and so on, so that her husband will feel that he is not alone in his enjoyment of the good things in life, but that he is sharing these pleasures with a loving, intelligent and loyal wife.

The fact that the Prophet (PBUH) raced with `A'ishah more than once indicates the fact that Islam urges both spouses to share their partner's joy and happiness in life, because this sharing will have a powerful effect in deepening their feelings for one another and strengthening the bonds between them.

Just as she shares his joys, so she also shares his worries and concerns, and comes to him with kind words of consolation, mature and sensible advice and sincere emotional support.

She does not look at other men

The true Muslim woman avoids looking at men other than her husband; she does not stare at men who are not related to her (i.e. who are not her mahrams), in obedience to the command of Allah (SWT):

( And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze . . .) (Qur'an 24:31).

By refraining from looking at other men, she will be one of those chaste women who restrain their glances, which is a quality men like in women, because it is indicative of their purity, decency and fidelity. This is one of the most beautiful characteristics of the chaste, decent, pure Muslim woman, and this was referred to in the Qur'an when it speaks of the women of Paradise and their qualities that are loved by men:

( In them will be [Maidens] chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or jinn before them has touched.) (Qur'an 55:56)

She does not describe other women to him

Another of the characteristics of the intelligent Muslim woman is that she does not describe any of her (female) friends or acquaintances to him, because this is forbidden according to the words of the Prophet (PBUH):

"No woman should talk about another woman, or describe her to her husband (so that it is) as if he sees her."⁷⁰

Note: 70. See Fath al-Bari, 9/338, Kitab al-nikah, bab tabashir al-mar'ah al-mar'ah fatana'atha li zawjiha.

Islam wants people's hearts to be at peace, and to put a stop to provocative thoughts and overactive imaginations, so that people may live their lives in a decent and calm fashion, free from such thoughts and able to go about the tasks and duties for which they were created. No man should let his mind be occupied with cheap thoughts of the contrast between his wife and the woman she describes, or let himself become crazy with the embellishments his own imagination may add to the woman's supposed beauty. He should not let such foolish talk stop him from going about his work and usual pastimes, or lead him to temptation and make him go astray.